Future Jew

Platonic Form of Passover Seders

2010-03-30T15:03:00.000-08:00

Platonic Form

I find this article very interesting. Despite the fact that Hanukkah is a commemeration of Jews who resisted assimilation into Hellenistic culture, there are several references to Greek logic and philosophy in Judaism. The form of the creation story is one; the seder is another.

Matzah: The Original Fast Food

2010-03-19T14:27:00.000-08:00

Matzah: The Original Fast Food

Blog Link: Heeb'n'vegan

2009-12-28T23:29:00.001-09:00

http://heebnvegan.blogspot.com/2009/12/use-of-animal-products-in-jewish-ritual.html

Interesting discussion about what it means to live a both vegan and Jewish life and the compromises one must consider.

Miracles and Grieving

2009-12-17T09:32:00.003-09:00

Just yesterday I was part of a Chanukah service at a hospital, put on by the Jewish chaplain there. It was the first Chanukah at that hospital, which is a Catholic institution, so that was cool. Part of the service involved a speeches by the chaplains and my Rabbi about the origins and meanings of Chanukah.

The Jewish chaplain talked about miracles. The one she highlighted had nothing to do with oil; the story was about a baby that was life flighted to the hospital, her mother, and the chaplain's experience of the whole situation. She talked about spiritually and emotionally supporting the mother, about praying with the mother (who wasn't Jewish), and the joy of the baby's survival. She explained that she felt the miracle wasn't that the baby survived; it was that the doctors did their best. That their best was enough to save the baby was a bonus.

I thought that was a refreshing take on miracles, and a very interesting insight into how a person deals with death and the grieving as a profession. She talked about how Jewish tradition holds that if you save one life, it's as if you saved the whole world. That's a big miracle and a mitzvah. She talked about how important it is to see the small miracles, like the doctors and nurses and the whole medical staff being focused, working together well, and performing at the top of their games. This is also a mitzvah.

She also said that it's important to be surprised by what you encounter in life. If you are shocked at the violence one person can inflict on another, that means you aren't resigned to it, you haven't accepted it, and you can fight against it. If you are surprised when things go well, you can fully appreciate them. She said that she feels you can never be adjusted to what life throws at you; she happily proclaimed that she is the most maladjusted person in the world. I liked hearing that, because I also find that when I'm complacent for a while, it soon follows that I will be unhappy.

I was also very touched by her stories in a more personal way. My Aunt died of cancer just after Thanksgiving. Sometimes it's hard to reconcile seeing how far medical science has come in treating cancer, but still having it not be enough to save a loved one. Some of the fault is her own, because she didn't seek treatment until the very end, but even so...you feel like there should have been more. Don't get me wrong, she defied doctors' expectations twice.

When she went in for an MRI on the Monday before Thanksgiving, they found that the tumors were in bad places near her stomach and had to do emergency surgery; without it she would almost certainly die, and with it there was a pretty good chance she wouldn't wake up, and if she did they expected her to be uncommunicative. Tuesday was a good day for her, though. Her son is in prison, but somehow managed to get out with a 3rd party custodian to pay her a visit and say the goodbyes and all. Wednesday was a bad day; she was depressed about her situation and her physical condition similarly suffered. The doctors thought that she would pass away in her sleep that night.

When I visited her on Thanksgiving, she was entertaining the whole family with her trademark baudy stories and witty quips. She was also eating turkey, mashed potatoes, and pumpkin pie, which really should have been impossible. Things were similar on Friday, because she was a tough old bird. When I saw her again on Saturday night, she seemed slower. Not as funny, and like she was missing that spark she always had. I got scared that she was going when she started talking about my grandmother, who died 10 years ago. Her breathing was very labored, and she seemed like she was in a lot of pain (this resolved when the nurse refilled her machine). My Aunt passed away at 64 years old the next morning.

Even though it was expected, and probably for the best (you can't have a high-quality life from a hospital bed), it's not easy to deal with during such a family and miracle oriented season. Perspective is everything. I think this is part of the reason why it's a mitzvah to visit the sick; cheering them up is important and valuable, as is caring for them. We also need to see the small miracles that happen around them because death and waiting for a miracle that never came can shake a person's faith, but we need to respect and appreciate life and the miracles that do come.

Why all the fuss about Chanukah?

2009-12-16T22:19:00.003-09:00

For much of the American and European (Christian) world, the halls are decked, and 'tis the season to be jolly. Twinkly lights, cheesy spangles, and rampant commercialism fills the air. Possibly in an effort to appear more accepting of alternate traditions, advertisements hocking gifts say "Happy Holidays" instead of "Merry Christmas", or if they say that dreaded C-word they include Chanukah, and Kwanzaa. I've heard many Jews express the opinion that Chanukah is a minor holiday and all the hooplah is purely a figment of the media's imagination.

I think that Chanukah is underrated in terms of the value Jews place on it. Yes, it's a light "party" holiday with a couple very different legends behind it, such that it's easy to be confused as to what, exactly, you're celebrating. But as my Rabbi pointed out, Chanukah is one of the few religious holidays that has historical evidence supporting the events it commemorates: the Maccabee rebellion happened and they did rededicate the Temple after the Greeks desecrated it. My Rabbi also took it one step further: if it weren't for the Maccabees and their reunification of the Jewish people and rededication of the Temple, world history would be completely different.

For example, it's very unlikely that the Christmas story would have even been possible. Due to the fighting at that time between Syria and Egypt, as well the infighting amongst the Jews who supported Syria versus those who backed up the Egyptians, it would have been difficult for the Jewish community to hold a census some 300 years later in the City of David so Jesus could be born there as the prophesies required. It is more likely that the Joseph and Mary would have assimilated and acted like Hellenists instead of Jews, or at the least, been too involved in war for such an undertaking.

I also think that having a Festival of Lights at this time of year is vital, because I live in a place that doesn't have much daylight now that we're approaching Solstice and it's easy to feel a little down because of it. Really, this is one of the reasons why many religions that originated in the Northern Hemisphere have celebrations in mid to late December. It is believed that Chanukah incorporated aspects of a more ancient Solstice practice, but it is known that European pagans celebrated Yule and Christianity chose to celebrate Christmas at a time to coincide with those celebrations in order to suppress paganism (and/or because they felt they really needed a pick me up as the days got shorter).

From a more religious perspective, Chanukah is very much a holiday that celebrates a value near and dear to most Americans: the right and ability to practice religion in a manner of the individual's choosing. When we light our menorahs, we put them in windows in order to publicize the miracle of the oil. We couldn't do that in times of oppression and we're lighting the candles in order to celebrate and commemorate our victory over an oppressive military regime. The Greeks wanted us to assimilate. We wanted our Temple back, so we fought and won. Supporting the idea that it's not just about Jewish freedom is the fact that our victory allowed Christianity as we know it to exist.

Honing in on the Jewish angle, and touching on what you alluded to, Chanukah is a holiday that celebrates the Jewish identity. We came together. We rebelled. We won. We regained the Temple and we experienced the miracles. This is why we bristle at comparisons to Christmas, which in my opinion, is why we tend to downplay its importance. It is certainly the reason that, despite my interfaith celebrations, I reject the term "Christmukah".

Granted, not all Jews celebrate Chanukah, notably those with roots from Iraq and the Eastern parts of the Greek empire. This definitely supports the idea that Chanukah is a secondary holiday. I would never argue that it's as important as Yom Kippur, but I do believe that it has value.

Starbucks and Tisha B'Av

2009-07-29T15:41:00.001-08:00

Starbucks and Tisha B'Av

Shared via AddThis

Blog link: FrumSatire on wilderness

2009-07-23T10:04:00.000-08:00

http://www.frumsatire.net/2006/12/01/wilderness-red-bull-for-the-soul/

blog link: Mayim Bialik on mikveh

2009-07-15T08:48:00.000-08:00

http://www.jewishweddingnetwork.com/mayim-bialik-student-of-the-water

Mikveh and Naming

2009-05-29T23:25:00.003-08:00

Today was a bit of an adventure. I drove out to Portage Glacier to scout out a mikveh site. I tried talking to the ranger at the Begich, Boggs Visitor Center, but she didn't know much about swimming in the area. Well, other than the water is cold and that the lake is 35 degrees. She was also good at pointing out the creek on the map, but couldn't tell me where it's deep. I thanked her for the map and set off for some scouting.

I decided that it would be pretty cool to be near Explorer Glacier and the map said there might be beaver activity there. Where there are beavers there are often deeper areas in creeks, so I headed that way. I made a slightly wrong turn that turned out to be a great place. I think it's the old Beaver Pond Campground; it looked like it had been a bit developed at one time. They closed that campground a few years ago, so that would make sense. I found a spot where the creek looked about waist deep and it was a beautiful place, so I hid a geocache. Then I realized that the snow cavity I was looking at was the remains of an avalanche and not Explorer Glacier, so I drove on to find the Explorer Glacier outlook point.

The Explorer Glacier area was perfect. The water was blue in the way only glacial water can be. I also noticed that the water was shallow for about a meter out and then there was a steep drop off. Exactly what I was looking for. So long as there were no people in the area, that would be the place. I would have moved my geocache to my mikveh, but there was already one nearby.

Now just to wait for my friend who doubled as my witness. A family was throwing rocks into the creek right at my chosen spot. They left a few minutes later, so it was time. As I took off my clothes, I thought that this might not be such a good idea. The ambient temperature was 53 degrees, and it was very chilly against my skin. I was not looking forward to getting wet on top of that.

I stepped into the water. At about my knees, I wanted to leave, but my friend encouraged me to push on. It was a bit easier after I laughed at my dog, who was trying to follow me into the water. We had to tell her to stay, because she can't be Jewish. I got about waist deep, and I was too cold for comfort. My friend again encouraged me, and I dunked under. I popped up, and believe me, I knew I was alive. I was very cold, and I said the first blessing as fast as I could. My friend said I looked scared, but I think it was a purely physiological reaction. My body was not interested in staying in that water, but my brain knew I had two more dunks and another blessing. I did them, and by the time I was done, it wasn't so bad. I felt peaceful, rather than cold. I can't promise that was a spiritual experience and not a physiological reaction, but it was nice.

I had a hard time putting my clothes back on. I had forgotten my towel, so I had to wiggle into them still soaking wet. When I got to my car, I used my t-shirt to wipe off excess water and put on my raincoat to keep the water off my car seat. Then I drove back to the Visitor Center, got dry, and changed my clothes. Then I drove back to Anchorage.

My friend hosted a Shabbat dinner; the food was wonderful. It felt nice to be around Jewish people and hear the blessings for the first time as a Jew. My friend tried to get me to light the candles, but I didn't know the melody for the blessing, so I asked not to.

After dinner I had to run to the synagogue for services. I had already told my Rabbi that I would be there, so he was planning to do my naming ceremony. I couldn't miss that. He surprised me and had me light the candles at the beginning of the service as well. I almost laughed, but I did it. I just recited the blessing and just about biffed it. I almost forgot l'hadlik ner shel Shabbat.

Toward the end of the service, my Rabbi called me up to the bimah. He brought out the Torah and read a passage about how the Torah is the Jews' greatest treasure. Then he handed the scroll to me and asked me to say the Sh'ma. I asked him if I should sing it or if I should recite it, and he told me I could choose. I sang it, because it didn't seem right to say it. Then he said that I have been known by the name my family gave me, and I will always be that person, but I will also be known by my Hebrew name, Miriam Tzipora.

It was a good day.

Your People will be My People; Your G-d will be My G-d

2009-05-27T20:09:00.000-08:00

I'm Jewish now. I finished with the Beit Din an hour ago. I go to mikveh on Friday. I don't feel much different. It's kind of like the difference between Friday and Shabbat; almost imperceptible, but significant only because I've made it so.

The Rabbis taught: four things require being done with vigour; Torah study, good deeds, prayer and one’s worldly occupation | Jewschool

2009-04-28T11:40:00.001-08:00

http://jewschool.com/2009/04/27/16051/the-rabbis-taught-four-things-require-being-done-with-vigour-torah-study-good-deeds-prayer-and-ones-worldly-occupation/#more-16051

Nicole

Nextbook: A Seder in Sulaymaniyah

2009-04-16T09:46:00.000-08:00

http://www.nextbook.org/cultural/feature.html?id=320

Nicole

Elijah came

2009-04-09T09:12:00.000-08:00

I forgot to mention in my last post that Elijah came to our Seder last
night. Tradition holds that he's disguised when he arrives, and this
year it was a good one. He dressed up just like my friend's boyfriend.

When we went to open the door for Elijah, we saw him standing on the
other side.

It's either a sign or a coincidence. He'd probably say coincidence.
But isn't that exactly what he'd say if he was Elijah and the world
just isn't ready yet?

Pesach 5769

2009-04-09T08:50:00.000-08:00

Two years ago, I never would have imagined myself doing what I did
last night and in preparation for last night.

Last year, I thought it was possibly somthing I might do in the
future. But I never would have imagined that I could accomplish it
only a year later.

This year, my friend hosted a Seder. It was my first one in a home;
last year, I went to the one at the synagogue. There is a lot that
goes into putting a Seder together, and she did a fantastic job. The
food was amazing, the group was pretty ecclectic, and I think it was a
successful night.

One task that comes with Seder preparations is choosing a haggadah.
She invited me to help her with that. It was a nerdy honor. When she
asked, I was daunted. I had never really read a haggadah the whole way
through. I couldn't tell you what needed to happen. But I read and I
learned. And I basically copied a haggadah I found on the Internet.

Let me tell you, I feel much more connected to the Seder now. For
someone who loves the Exodus story, that's probably a good thing.

One of the only parts of the text that I actually wrote was the bit
about Miriam's Cup. Which is why I've been thinking a lot about
Miriam's role in the story. About how she not only hoped for a better
day; she believed it would come. And Miriam's Song, what it sounded
like, what else was in it.

When I left the seder last night, I was listening to a Jewel CD, and
the song "Life Uncommon" came on. I don't know what she wrote it about
exactly, but it fits in well with Miriam and that moment (even if it
fits a bit better with the Midrashic story about her first
prophecies). A big part of the connection comes from our haggadah's
emphasis on social justice and being instruments of change, but I
think it works.

The lyrics:
Don't worry mother, it'll be all right
Don't worry sister, say your prayers and sleep tight.
It'll be fine, lover of mine
It'll be just fine

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a life uncommon.

I've heard your anguish, I've heard your hearts cry out
"We are tired, we are weary, but we aren't worn out"
Set down your chains, 'till only faith remains
Set down your chains

And lend your voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend your strength to that which you wish to be free from
Fill your lives with love and bravery
And you shall lead a life uncommon

There are plenty of people who pray for peace,
But if praying were enough, it would have come to be
Let your words enslave no one,
And the heavens will hush themselves to hear
Our voices ring out clear with sounds of freedom
With sounds of freedom

Come on, you unbelievers, move out of the way
There is a new army coming, and we are armed with faith
To live, we must give, to live

And lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
No longer lend our strength to that which we wish to be free from
Fill our lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead
And lend our voices only to sounds of freedom
Fill our lives with love and bravery
And we shall lead a life uncommon.

Cleaning out the Chametz

2009-03-29T09:32:00.003-08:00

Between Purim and Pesach, it is traditional to clean out the chametz from your home. In the traditional sense, chametz is anything leavened and it's done in order to prepare for Pesach, when Jews are forbidden to possess leavening.

I'm not so traditional. Plus, I share my home with a non-Jew, so I think that simply refraining from eating bread and the like is enough. It is simply not practical to banish non-Passover foods from my kitchen.

But, inspired by a haggadah I read this weekend, I'm still cleaning out chametz. In my case, it's all the extra stuff that I don't need, the stuff that I don't want, and the clutter that makes my life less enjoyable. I spent a couple hours each of Saturday and Sunday, and since it's a 3-day weekend for me, today's the day for some heavy lifting. My focus has been on my bedroom, and it already looks much better. I'm getting excited to see my chametz-free room.

Miriam's Cup

2009-03-16T15:24:00.000-08:00

A little bit about the symbolism and ritual of Miriam's cup. I like
this article, because it does not focus on feminism. I think it need
to be deeper than that in order to be worth adding to the Seder. This
explains why including Miriam's cup makes sense and adds reflective
value to the evening.

I know I will include Miriam's cup in my future Seders, but I haven't
decided how. Since I won't be hosting this year, I have plenty of time.

http://www.ritualwell.org/holidays/passover/onthesedertable/primaryobject.2005-07-07.7257239862

Pesach

2009-03-15T17:00:00.003-08:00

Well, I just made another huge Judaica order, most of it things for Passover. I got a seder plate (with six tiny bowls) and a Miriam's cup. I also got a wine bottle cork and some things to donate to the congregation upon my conversion. I'm excited about them, even though I probably won't host a seder this year.

What will happen is that my mother will join me at the community seder. That ought to be interesting. She still doesn't quite get it, but I think she might get more than I give her credit for. She asked if the temple was going to have an Easter gathering, which is a silly thing, but I think she was just trying to figure out if I was going to be busy on Easter. I hope the seder goes okay.

If...Then

2009-03-14T22:45:00.002-08:00

No, I'm not talking about Jewish SAT questions.

For the past few months, the Rabbi's been presenting us sections from his dissertation on the Exodus and how it happened. He contends that it was not nearly as described. Today's segment focused mainly on geography, and then on wordplay. One of his key points is that when people tell stories, the geography is accurate, even if the story isn't. We all know that Juneau is far to the southeast of Denali, and we'd never describe it any other way. If the Israelites were living in Goshen...then where is that?

One of the first things he talked about was how ancient geographers described locations. Apparently, they were pretty consistent in the words they used and spacial relationships. This makes it especially interesting to uncover the fact that the Hebrew and Aramaic texts say they crossed the Yam Suf. In all other Hebrew and Aramaic texts, Yam Suf refers to what is now called the Gulf of Aqaba, which is on the other side of the Sinai Peninsula from the Red Sea. The first time the text refers to the Red Sea is when it was translated by the Septuagint, and for some reason it has stuck, even though it's inaccurate. This implies that the Israelites weren't necessarily in the Nile Delta. If they weren't in the Nile Delta...then where were they?

The Rabbi made a list of places referred to in the Exodus story, the "itinerary" sites. He then went through the Biblical texts to see how they're described, paying special attention to things like "blank is near blank", and then cross-referencing the known locations and putting them on a map. All of them are east of Egypt, most are northeast of the Sinai Peninsula...not in Egypt. There are records of Egyptians in some of these areas, but not so much about Pharaoh in these places. It's interesting, especially for a geography nerd like me. There's a lot that makes sense about it, because it does pull from the historical record. If we know that Goshen is near Egypt, and Midian is in Saudi Arabia...then what can we extrapolate from that?

Next came the wordplay section of the evening. The Rabbi started with having us read Exodus 1, in which we learn that Pharaoh has decided that the Israelites are "too numerous", so something must be done and in all his wisdom, the best idea he can come up with is slavery. That doesn't work, so Pharaoh decides to be extremely illogical and kill all the boys at birth. The Pharaoh is outsmarted by a couple of midwives, there are still too many Israelites, and Pharaoh decrees that all toddler boys must be killed. In the Biblical text, the Hebrew words for "increase" and "people" appear seven times. That's a significant number, and tends to mean that those words are important in some way. If they're significant...then what are they trying to say?

In another story, the wise Judean King Solomon enslaves the Israelite people in order to build a temple and a palace. He is cruel and the people rebel, and they are unsuccessful. Solomon dies and his son Rehoboam takes over. He is even more cruel, and the people rebel, led by a man named Jereboam. Any guesses what Jereboam means in Hebrew? If you guessed "the people increase"...then you'd be right.

There are more parallels between the Jereboam story and the Moses story. They both fled a leader whose rule they found tyrannical. They both returned after the leader died, confronted the new leader, and brought their people out of slavery. Apparently, their stories align on 14 points, even though I don't remember them right now. This is also a significant number and suggests more than a coincidence. If the two stories are linked...then what does that mean?

The Rabbi suggests that the Moses story is an allegory. Fiction. His theory is that it was written by the Judeans as the Jereboam events were happening as a way of protesting. This is why there's no archaeological evidence of the Israelites in Egypt in the time that the slavery was supposed to have happened. This is why the itinerary sites aren't in Egypt, but are in Moab, Judah, the Negev, the Jordan River valley, and the body of water they crossed was outside of Egypt's defended borders. If the Exodus from Egypt never happened...then what does that mean for Judaism?

It's a very good question. Of course, what the Rabbi did with the story was simply a literary analysis.

The Judeans could simply have noticed the parallels between Jereboam and the oral tradition of Moses and wrote the story in such a way as to point them out.

Since we are dealing with a story that survived orally for hundreds of years before it was ever written down, it could simply be a case of people forgetting or omitting some itinerary sites. This wouldn't explain the lack of archaeological evidence, though.

I don't care if it's allegory or if Moses just existed somewhere slightly different than Egypt. It's still my favorite story in the Bible.

I know my name

2009-03-12T09:34:00.002-08:00

I will choose Miriam Tzipora.

I like that these names are associated with Moses and the stories of Exodus. I like that they appear in the parshiot that correspond with my birthday. I like that they are very clearly Biblical names, but they do not refer directly to G-d; they refer to nature. I like that they were both pretty amazing women, one a prophetess, the other the great woman behind a very special man.

I even like that they are opposites, in a few ways; Miriam had a problem with Moses's wife, who goes unnamed in that particular story, for being dark (and probably for taking up so much of his attention), so HaShem makes Miriam snow-white by afflicting her with leprosy for a week. They are also opposites in terms of background. Miriam was born an Israelite, the sister of Judaism's great leader and also of the first high priest. Tzipora, however, was not born into the tribe; she would have been a convert like me, from a different religious background (also with family ties to a high priest, being the daughter if the high priest of Midian).

I choose Miriam, partly because it is the name my mother suggested for me when I asked her. It was one of the names I asked her about and she liked the meanings behind it. She thought it fit me best. It's not completely clear what Miriam actually means.

In Egyptian, it could mean "beloved", which my mom thought was good, partly because when we watched the movie (based in the Toni Morrison novel), Beloved's mother tells her "you're my best thing", and my mom always thought the same of me.

In Hebrew, Miriam means "bitter water/sea", which almost sounds like a bad thing. But I've always loved being near the ocean, even though I don't love swimming. So a reference to water makes sense for me. To explain the bitter part, I like thinking about a Chinese idiomatic

expression, "to eat bitter". This is how they would talk about perseverence. To me, that is very important, because that which is worthwhile is not always easy. It also seems to apply to the Biblical Miriam, because she was known for her kindness and generosity of spirit, even when she was going through difficult times personally.

That is something I asipre to and, I think, very worthy of a name.

I choose Tzipora, partly because it refers to my mother's pet name for me, in a way. Tzipora means "little bird", and as best I can tell, usually refers to a songbird. Mom liked to call my sister and I her "little chickadees". She doesn't say it about my sister as much anymore, but she still says it to me. Chickadees are very common birds in my hometown, and they used to congregate in our backyard to eat the tiny crabapples on our flowering crabapple tree. I also like Tzipora because I have always pictured her as dynamic, graceful and intuitive. Part of how I picture Tzipora is very dependent on how I perceive the relationsip between Moses and his wife, and therefore in how I understand marriage. Because Moses was clearly very special, I picture Tzipora being special, too. I think she was there to support Moses and help him find the courage to do what he needed to accimplish, whether it was dealing with his guilt after he killed the Egyptian, pulling himself together enough to confront Pharaoh, or constantly acting as a go-between with HaShem and the Israelites.She also showed that she understood what Moses taught her about HaShem and the covenants when she thought fast during the bridegroom of blood incident and saved Moses' life (or maybe Gershom's).

I think this is especially important to me and worthy of a name, because she, like myself, learned the mitzvot as an adult and took on the challenge of adapting to life with slightly new rules.

Try as I might, I couldn't decide between the two. Both names hold a great deal of meaning, both in Jewish culture and for me personally. The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I would never be able to pick just one. I think it is best to take them in combination

and hope that I can live up to them.

Another Meeting

2009-03-10T21:56:00.003-08:00

I met with my Rabbi again today. We talked about what I've been studying, which is pretty much just Torah. I've been reading as many commentaries and listening to as many podcasts as I have time for.

Naturally, since I've been gathering so much information, I want to write a report about anything I find interesting. I'm a nerd; I'm okay with it. So I've been updating my Torah blog a little bit, but it's not really anything worth sharing at this point. I wouldn't even call it up to date, since my recent pattern is to post the week's parsha on Saturday evening. Still, I think it's slightly valuable as a type of dialectical journal. If I manage to keep up with it, it will be interesting to compare what I wrote this year to what I write next year. The few entries that I wrote last year are very different to what I put up recently for the same parsha.

My rabbi thinks that it's good that I'm joining the commentary conversation. He seems to think that when students realize that they can write their own midrash or insert themselves into the characters, they learn more. I'm not sure if it's because we become more eager to study when the element of creativity is added, or if it's because it just becomes more personal, but I would tend to agree with that.

We talked a little bit about this week's parsha, about the commentary sources I've been using, and about whether it's valuable to read (or listen to) commentary that brings up an interesting idea, but is factually incorrect. I think we slightly disagree on the last one. I think that as long as you know where the facts fail, it's possible to learn a moral or philosophical lesson; my Rabbi is a bit leery on that idea. But if I understand his logic, it's mostly because that would mean that the moral or philosophical lesson was not meant to be taught by that parsha, so you're focusing on something that's not entirely relevant. In my experience, this seems to happen most on commentaries from a specific point of view (social justice, feminism, ecology, etc.). We agree that commentary with failed logic is awful and not worth one's time.

At the end, we also talked about the actual conversion. The Beit Din will almost certainly be on Shavuot, either the first day or the second. He said that I should not have any problems getting through that part, since it will be all oral questions and I do well expressing myself in our conversations. My official conversion certificate will bear the Beit Din date. Then comes the mikveh. There are still a few unresolved questions here. He's not sure how many witnesses I might need. I have already chosen one attendant, and he thinks she is a good choice and can help me with the blessings. We're just not sure if I'll need more to say that they were there and I most certainly dunked. The last question is the not-so-small matter of where. This shouldn't be too awful much of a problem anymore, since there is no time limit. It just has to happen after the Beit Din. I'll get another certificate saying that I immersed on whatever date. During some Friday night service after that, I'll be introduced to the congregation, given my Hebrew name, and given the Torah. I'll recite the Shema, and that will be that. I'll be a real, full-fledged Jew.

I have a date

2009-02-11T07:35:00.002-09:00

At our meeting yesterday, my rabbi and I set a date for my conversion. Well, not really a date, more of a range of dates which will hopefully work for everybody involved.

I want to do it on Shavuot. Or at least near Shavuot. We will talk about it more next month, because there are logistics to work out. Like, which creek will I mikveh in, and who will be my attendant.

I know last year they did an all night study session for Shavuot. It would be really cool to incorporate my naming ceremony in to that. Or have it after the megilla reading, maybe. We'll see.

Tu BiShevat

2009-02-10T09:27:00.000-09:00

Last year, I vowed to host a Tu BiShevat seder this year.

I didn't. It just didn't seem right hosting a holiday gathering
before my conversion. My guests wouldn't have been Jewish, so I'd have
had to explain everything, and it felt wrong to knowingly put myself
in that position. I would have been representing myself as a Jew when
I am not quite Jewish yet.

However, I did make a special dish for dinner. Or, as it happens, a
side dish.

I got to thinking about the traditional foods to eat on Tu BiShevat:
dried fruits, nuts, wine. And I got to thinking about a seder, and
when I put the two together, it seemed natural to make a haroset.

On myjewishlearning.com, I found several recipies for haroset. One in
paticular stood out to me for this occasion, the Italian haroset. His
may be partly because my family has Italian background, but it was
also because of the ingredients.

I like the apples and the pears. The texture is great for haroset, and
since they are tree fruits, they fit right in on the new year for the
trees.

As I mentioned earlier, dried fruits are traditional (no wonder I love
this holiday), but this recipe included an especially symbolic one:
the date. It is one of the seven species, and I read something about
it being significant for Tu BiShevat, but I don't recall where. The
recipe also called for raisins and prunes.

Now for the nuts. These were a big part of why I hose this haroset.
Most recipes that I've seen use walnuts, but this one does not. It
calls for almonds and pine nuts. Almonds are very traditional for Tu
BiShevat, because the almond trees are in bloom in Israel this time of
year. I appreciate the pine nuts, because they are from my favorite
type of tree, and it felt good to honor them on this day as well, even
if they're not commonly thought of as a food source.

Other ingredients that had significance to me as I added them to the
pot were the wine and the honey. The wine, because it called to mind
the joy and rest of Shabbat (I used my leftovers from this weekend).
The honey, because it reminded me of the last time I mixed apples and
honey: Rosh HaShana, another new year.

It's very delicious, which is good, because it was a large recipe. I
originally served it with turkey breast. I'm eating leftovers now like
applesauce. Both are tasty ways to go. I may even use it to stuff a
chicken breast later. We'll see. But mostly, I wanted to share.

I hope your Tu BiShevat was a lovely one. Remember, it represents the
beginning of spring which brings renewal and, most importantly, more
light!

My Jewish Learning - Texts: A Burning Within

2009-01-14T12:53:00.001-09:00

http://mobile.myjewishlearning.com/texts/Weekly_Torah_Commentary/shmot_ajws2.htm

Nicole

Another Jewish Rite of Passage

2008-12-19T09:24:00.001-09:00

A friend and coworker died yesterday. I just found out. She had been
very sick recently. When I found out, my first reaction was "Baruch
dayan ha-emet". It gave me some comfort, even as I listened to my
other coworkers gasp and drop their pens.

It is not a happy day. I will miss her, her cheerfulness despite her
suffering, and most of all, her stories.

I can't believe it.

2008-12-14T14:25:00.003-09:00

I just got off the phone with my mom. We were talking about holiday plans (I will always celebrate Christmas with my family and exchange gifts with my friends).

She actually asked me if the Temple will be doing a Christmas service. Of course they wouldn't. The cool part was that she asked if there would be any holiday services, which gave me a chance to explain Chanukah a little bit. She kind of gets it.

But I still can't believe that she'd wonder whether Jews would have a Christmas service.

Christmastime for the Jews

2008-12-14T10:47:00.002-09:00

A little Saturday Night Live hilarity.

Video Recaps | Full Episodes | Webisodes

Shabbat

2008-12-05T20:19:00.003-09:00

After the lovely Shabbat I had last week, I tried to set myself up for the same thing this week. It pretty much worked. Last week was very special, since a friend was hosting dinner.

This week I was ready again. I had a fairly unpleasant task to do, so I saved it for the end of the day. When I got off work, I felt accomplished. I was ready to leave the office. And the minute I hit that outer door, I noticed that the sun was down and was grateful that Shabbat had technically started.

I wished I was able to go straight home for candles and kiddush, but I had to run errands first. Now that I'm settled in, it's a nice evening. And I feel Jewish.

My mom, again

2008-12-02T22:00:00.003-09:00

I just got off the phone with my mom. We were talking about our plans for the weekend, and I blocked off my time for Torah study and services. She mentioned that she'd talked to her pastor's wife about my studies (apparently relevant because I'm studying Hebrew, and they're studying Hebrews).

Sondra told her that one of the Rabbis in Anchorage had visited their church a while back and gave a presentation on the holidays and festivals. I don't remember this. Anyway, she wanted to know which synagogue I attend, to see if it was the same folks. I told her, even though I'm pretty sure it wasn't my Rabbi. Actually, I know it wasn't my Rabbi; she mentioned a wife. She sounded positive about the whole thing, and that makes me glad.

One of my worries is that if my mom doesn't know what to think, she'll ask Sondra (her friend and pastor's wife), and might get a more, well, fundamentalist answer than I'd like. But maybe I'm selling them all a little short. We'll see, I guess.

Shabbat rest

2008-12-02T20:00:00.003-09:00

This past Friday night, I surprised even myself by declaring that I was ready for Shabbay rest. Maybe the others were surprised because the previous day was Thanksgiving and most people didn't have to work. Me, I was surprised because I had never said that before.

I had been ready for the weekend. I had been glad it was Friday night. But I had never been glad for Shabbat itself.

Part of it may have been because I worked hard last week. It may have been because I was sick but feeling better. It was almost certainly because I had arrived at Carrie's home for another of her wonderful Shabbat meals.

But that was one of those wonderful moments when I really felt Jewish. On the drive to Carrie's, I realized that it was dark and technically Shabbat already, and I felt more relaxed. But once those candles were lit, I really started to feel it. Rest. Shabbat rest. A real, definitive separation between worktime and holy time.

It was beautiful.

I'm not going to lie, though. I did work only hours later, cleaning up after the party had subsided. But even that had a sense of peace about it, because it seemed a part of the dinner, a part of the evening, a part of Shabbat.

I hope I feel that again this week. And the week after that. And every week.

Today We are All Chabadniks

2008-11-29T20:19:00.002-09:00

I found this entry today on Jewlicious. I agree with its ideas that we should all be united as Jews, rather than worrying about whether we're converts or Reform or Chassids. To many, we are all the same, despite our sub-cultural differences.

The article also points out another personal connection: the rabbi and his wife are my age. And her glasses are very similar to mine.

Another amendment

2008-11-28T13:06:00.002-09:00

Reports are now that there were five victims at the Chabad House. The rabbi and his wife were American, as was one other casualty. Two of the dead were Israeli.

We should all say Kaddish, listen to "Imagine", and try to find a solution.

Addendum to my previous post

2008-11-28T09:38:00.001-09:00

To be edited in when I'm at my computer:

There should be no honor in dying for one's religion; the honor is in living one's tradition.

Mobile blogging can be a pain. Even on an iPhone.

Baruch ata Adonai, Melech Ha-Olam, Dayan Ha-Emet

2008-11-28T09:15:00.004-09:00

Islamic terrorists stormed Mumbai, India, taking over 10 buildings. Most of the locations were associated with Western culture. The last article I read, over 175 people were dead.

One of the buildings that was chosen was the Chabad House. Two of the people who died were the rabbi and his wife, and I think 5 others from the Jewish center, all Israeli citizens. The cook managed to escape with the rabbi's two year old son. It is very sad.

Even though I'm not yet officially Jewish, and even though I tend to disagree with Chabad, I feel a personal connection. I imagine their Jewish community to be somewhat like mine: small and remote, but welcoming. A place for Jews to get refreshed by familiar traditions amidst a people who live very differently. I know the Jewish community in India, like the one here in Alaska, is very small.

I hope this situation doesn't discourage those who survived from their faith. I hope those who are also in small communities draw together, rather than dispursing out of fear. And I hope that the memories of the rabbi, his wife, and the others who died will be a blessing.

I also hope no martyrs arise from this situation. Religious fundamentalism is dangerous. We need no repeats; we have all suffered enough.

Interview With An Orthodox Jewish Survivor of Anorexia and Bulimia - Features

2008-11-25T22:36:00.001-09:00

Interview With An Orthodox Jewish Survivor of Anorexia and Bulimia

A fascinating story. Some of the things she talks about I recognize. I found it through this post, which also tells stories I recognize.

Zach Braff might make Aliyah?

2008-11-24T19:53:00.002-09:00

Zach Braff is one of those famous Jews I've had ambitions of writing about. I think that he's smart, and he's funny, and that's all it takes to make me a fan, really. I'd heard some rumblings before about his Jewishness, but I didn't want to speculate.

As it happens, he's very much Jewish. Recently, he gave an interview to Haaretz about his experiences in Tel Aviv and what it's like for him to be in the Jewish community. The way he talks about community is very interesting to me. I'm also excited about the idea that he might write and make a movie about an American Jew in Israel. That's something I'd really like to see from someone like him. His comedy is very slapstick, but it's also very intelligent and sensitive.

Another thing that I find interesting, as someone who is very soon to convert, is how he talks about not being a minority when he's in Israel. One of the reasons that it sticks with me is because he talks about he always felt like he was in the minority living in the United States, but he also points out how the communities he's lived had large Jewish communities. I hope to someday be lucky enough to live in a place with a lot of other Jewish folks. I'd also love to go to Israel someday.

Oh, and lest you think I read Haaretz and believe that I'm smarter than I am, I found this story on Mixed Multitudes.

G-dcast

2008-11-17T18:49:00.003-09:00

I don't know if I should call this a blog, because even though it comes in weekly installments, it's not really just that.

G-dcast.com is an attempt to animate the Torah, essentially. Each week, the new parshat comes up, always with a new commentator. I've been enjoying it since Bereshit, although my favorite so far is Lech Lecha. I highly recommend stopping by every Monday for a quick dose of something to think about.

High Holy Days for Jewnasts: A Guide for the Other High Holidays

2008-09-29T18:59:00.001-08:00

High Holy Days for Jewnasts: A Guide for the Other High Holidays

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Sharing

2008-08-11T22:23:00.004-08:00

This past weekend, my entire family went on a camping trip. We stayed in a cabin a few miles away from Seward, and it was incredibly beautiful. I was glad that I had finally learned some of the blessings for experiencing the natural world. Knowing that I'd probably forget (and I did), I decided to bring my siddur with me.

I had plenty of opportunity to say baruch atah adonai, eloheinu melach ha-olam, sheh-a-sah et ha-yam ha-gadol and baruch atah adonai eloheinu melach ha-olam, shekahcha lo baolamo and baruch atah adonai, eloheinu melach ha-olam, borei atzei v'samim. It felt good, like a mitzvah should.

I also packed my Shabbat/Havdallah set, because I didn't feel right being away from it on Shabbat. I wasn't sure if I'd use it, since my family is uninterested in Jewish ritual, and I didn't want to deal with an argument from my mother. Still, something in me said to bring it. As it happened, the cabin was very dark as day turned in to night on Friday, and everybody wished we had some candles.

Since I had mine, I brought them out. I explained to my mother what my ritual items were and what their symbolism was. I silently said the bracha over the candles, and lit them. I explained the wine and the bread to mom, as well, and she seemed fairly receptive. I don't think she would have been as positive if I had said the blessings out loud, but, at the same time, I did not do anything that was contrary to Christianity...it was just different.

It was a good experience. Mom still hasn't heard the word "conversion" from me, and I have not denied Christ to her yet. Thus far, she is tolerant, but I am concerned that my Judaism would somehow disappoint her. Her beliefs are well-intentioned and deeply held, but they are ultimately fundamentalist.

Meeting with the Rabbi

2008-07-22T20:51:00.002-08:00

I had my meeting with the Rabbi today. This time, I wasn't so very prepared. I didn't feel like I'd been book-studying as much as I felt I should. He asked me why, and I told him. I've been enjoying my summer and going hiking and camping. I told him about my Shabbat/havdallah set and how I always bring it with me on trips. I told him that I've come to really appreciate Shabbat. There have been a couple of times when I didn't light my candles for some reason, and the day just didn't feel right. I talked about how, as I've integrated the rules for Shabbat into my practice, how the day has become such a pleasure.

I told him that I've been reading the book he lent me, and that it's really helping me to understand not only the meaning behind the words of the liturgy, but also how to let them inspire me. The words themselves are something of a blank slate in terms of emotion, and the worshipper is free to use them to express his gratitude, fear, sadness, or even anger. He can also use them to bring himself to a calm state.

Since I'm also working on reading another book, I told him about that one, too. This was one of the ecology books that I'd found. I told him who wrote it, and the group she is affiliated with. He knew exactly who I was talking about, and was glad that I'd found it. It was definitely a relief compared to the last conversation we had. I talked about one of the essays I had read, about wandering and how it brings out something primal in people. Since I've been watching a lot of The Dog Whisperer, I remembered that Cesar Millan had made a comment about what happens to dogs when they walk behind a pack leader, and how some of the points in the essay were somewhat similar to the ideas that Millan had talked about.

Naturally, this sparked some debate. He asked me if I really believed that the Jews were following G-d around like a pack of dogs, and if that implied that we didn't really have a choice. Of course not. That's what makes us different from dogs. The point was more that, in the wandering, we were forced to share a tight space, to learn how to work together for a common goal, and to accept our place in the group. He kept poking holes in my analogy, which was fine. It was never meant to be a perfect picture, just a way to understand a part of the story in a practical way.

We got in to talking about disagreements, and how religion can actually be a stumbling block to society. This was at least partly because the Rabbi had been at a discussion group last night where they talked about a book that said, at least in part, that atheism might be an important key to world peace. Which I do agree with. I told him so, too. I talked about how that's mentioned in the song "Imagine" more than once (Imagine there's no heaven...no hell below us...nothing to kill or die for, and no religion too). Which, of course, leaves us....where? What role (do I think) religion should have in society?

We talked about that for a while, actually. I think he wanted to hear me talk about religion in a general sense, so as to figure out how much of my understanding is based on Christianity, and how much on Judaism. I talked about how religion, when done correctly, should encourage people to live ethically, and the spirituality should be a pleasant side effect, and I did talk about how I found that in Judaism. He talked about how this might not necessarily be true of Orthodox Judaism. I had an answer for that one: I wasn't sitting in an Orthodox shul. I had chosen Reform for a reason.

It was a good conversation.

Havdallah in the Woods

2008-07-20T16:19:00.000-08:00

Kiddush, part II

2008-07-20T16:14:00.000-08:00

Camping kiddush

2008-07-20T16:10:00.000-08:00

Ritual on the Go

2008-07-20T16:07:00.000-08:00

Why?

2008-07-09T19:52:00.002-08:00

A friend recently asked my why I choose to convert. What follows was my answer to him.

I converted for a number of little tiny reasons, really. I abandoned Christianity for a few big ones, though. What it came down to was that I felt that the Christian community had become so fundamentalist and closed-minded that I could no longer agree with many of their teachings, and because of that disagreement, I could never fit in with that herd. When I started studying on my own, I was drawn toward the beginning of the Bible, because I realized that I didn't actually know that much about the Jewish origins. Most of it had been taught to me as a child, so I got a very cursory once-over of the major stories, and then the Old Testament was infrequently revisited only when necessary to prove a point. These points were almost always exclusionary or an attempt to prove that Jesus was the Messiah.

On my own, I learned that there was a lot of richness and wisdom that I'd never really known before. I also discovered that Jesus hadn't really fulfilled all the prophesies. With that, I was no longer afraid to abandon Christianity. As far as I'm concerned, the Messiah must fulfill all the prophesies. If a candidate does not, then he is no messiah. Maybe Jesus was the son of God and all that, and maybe he is going to come back. Maybe he'll be the Messiah then, when he finishes the job. I don't know. What I do believe is that the God of Judaism is similar to the God of Christianity. I think that sometimes Jesus gets in the way of God. I don't really know if I think of Jesus as a second god, a facet of God, or an idol. I haven't figured that out yet.

What I do know is that I started noticing more references to Judaism within things that I liked. I was interested in Biblical Archaeology, and the parts that I was really interested in were Hebrew Bible stories. My favorite TV show happened to have a Jewish host. A song that I liked was inspired by a Jewish story. Eventually, I contacted a Rabbi and started studying with him, because there was only so much that I could teach myself.

Injustice in Action: the Exxon Valdez judgment

2008-06-26T21:00:00.003-08:00

The Supreme Court has ruled on Exxon's appeal. I'm unhappy, to say the least. Everything I understand about justice and tikkun olam is completely violated.

This case has been long and drawn-out, and unpleasant at all turns. The oil spill happened in 1989. In 1994, Exxon was ordered to pay $5 billion in punitive damages, as well as some $500 million for compensatory damages, to cover the cleanup costs. They appealed, and the punitive award was reduced by half. I know that the State of Alaska appealed, at some point, on a matter of law, and I don't remember how that fits in. I do know that Exxon appealed to the Supreme Court, and if I remember correctly, the State was not allowed to be a party to the suit. In the end, Exxon was ordered to pay $507.5 million dollars in punitive damages, setting a new precedent for limiting punitive damages in maritime cases.

I read that CNN is reporting that the 32,000 claimants will each receive $15,000 I don't know where CNN got that figure. That's not what Alaskan news is reporting. They're saying that the average claimant is going to get about $3,000, and many will get nothing at all. The damages aren't being divided equally; there's a formula, based on a points system, I believe. Each claimant got a certain number of points based on how much their income was dependent upon Prince William Sound and its fisheries, and how much impact the oil spill had on their bottom lines.

It is completely unacceptable that they will pay only 10% of what their original punitive damages judgement was in 1994. For all the people whose livelihoods were affected, it just doesn't seem enough. It is not ethical to argue that giving people what they are due is too much. I can guarantee that most lost far more than $3,000, especially over the course of the years it has taken, and will continue to take, to renew the destroyed ecosystem.

It amazes me that, even with the interest accrued in the nearly two decades since, Exxon will mail the checks to everybody within about three months. About one billion dollars' worth of checks...in the mail, no problem. That's wealth for you. I also feel like it completely undermines their argument that the $2.5 billion bill was excessive. It doesn't seem like an undue hardship to me.

A few tiny little good things came out of the Exxon Valdez oil spill. I remember that day, about as well as someone who was 8 years old at the time can remember. I was very angry, and the incident inspired me to make my first protest poster. It had a broken boat on it, a big black splotch, and a bird with X's for eyes. It said FIRE EXXON, because I thought that meant they'd go out of business. I was a tiny tree hugger, even then. I also remember thinking that their negligence was unethical, even though I didn't know those words at the time, it was part of the reason I thought they needed to lose their job.

Another was that my dad made a great deal of money repairing equipment being used for the cleanup effort that summer. My family was very grateful for that. The only other good thing I can think of is that my dad was stationed in Seward, which is a beautiful town my family still returns to with great frequency.

Service 6-21-2008

2008-06-21T21:25:00.002-08:00

My first Bar Mitzvah ritual. It was really very beautiful. I loved how it emphasized and continually reinforced his new role as a member of Jewish society. The Aliyot started with his peers, and went to various family members, gradually getting closer to the Bar Mitzvah boy, until eventually his parents were called to the bimah on the sixth aliyah, and the Bar Mitzvah took the seventh and final.

It was amazing to watch how proud of him his parents were. I loved that he made a couple of mistakes, but corrected himself pretty confidently. That takes guts and maturity, which are qualities adults definitely need. It was clear that he did a lot of studying and preparation, which are absolutely vital to adult life. He did very well. I'd be terrified to do what he did, even though I think that I want to.

I was also struck by the speeches his parents gave about him. His father talked about how he's always been a very determined person, and reminded him that it will take him far in life. His mother talked about the idea of tikkun olam and always keeping the goal of making the world a better place, reminding him that it was not only a Jewish value, but a family value as well.

These things reminded me of well, firstly, that I don't know how my parents would react at my Bat Mitzvah (if I have one). But that's mostly because of the Jewish label. If they just talked about who I was, and who I am, they would be likely to talk about how I've always been pretty driven, but I've always held the same values that I find in Judaism.

In fact, I've recently realized that my years as a Girl Scout have very much shaped how I live as an adult, and I don't just mean my love for hiking and cookies. The Girl Scout Law that my mother taught me as a little girl is still pretty paramount. It's also a good way to ensure tikkun olam, I think:

-to be honest
-to be fair
-to help where I am needed
-to be cheerful
-to be friendly and considerate
-to be a sister to every Girl Scout
-to respect authority
-to use resources wisely
-to protect and improve the world around me
-to show respect for myself and others through my words and actions

That's really all I want out of life. Well, that and a religion I can put my faith in, and that gives me the framework to base my choices on. A girl can't live by "be prepared" alone.

My Carbon Footprint

2008-06-18T21:55:00.002-08:00

Based on a calculator I found at Brighter Planet, I expel 14.7 tons of carbon dioxide into the atmosphere every year. I hope to reduce this as much as possible, even though I'm apparently below the average already.

It makes me feel good that I'm doing some of my part. I think it's a mitzvah.

My Weekend: Hide and Seek

2008-06-16T19:51:00.006-08:00

I stayed in a campground near a lake, with a really nice trail that goes around the lake. There was also a trail that went about a quarter mile to a nearby Veterans' Memorial.

The first time I took that trail, it was on a whim. I was walking the dog, and I figured it would be as good a place as any to spend some energy. When I got there, I found that there had been significant improvements to the area. The parks system had built a scenic outlook toward Denali. And not only that, but the mountain was visible, and it was stunning. There were clouds on either side of the two peaks, and another nestled below, at about the level of the surrounding mountains. It made Denali look all the more impressive and mysterious. One of the other people at the outlook said it looked like a ghost, and I wouldn't disagree. Another person gestured to the mountains flanking Denali and pointed out that, at more than 17,000 feet, they would be imposing anywhere else in the world, except next to that particular peak. And it's true. I found myself drawn to that outlook; the dog and I walked there several more times, each time hoping to see the mountain again. We didn't get the chance; it was always hidden by clouds.

It made me think about how wonderful Shabbat time is, that I was able to just drop everything and go for a hike. I realized that I had spent the bulk of my weekend seeking, whether I was seeking a view that few people are blessed to see, seeking a nice rock to rest on, or seeking G-d.

I also started reading a really great book called Ecology and the Jewish Spirit by Ellen Bernstein. So far, I'm through the first section, which is a series of essays about Sacred Place. One of them talks about how Shabbat is similar to being in the wilderness, because of the way you're freed from clock-based time, instead depending on the sun and stars to tell you when to light your candles. The big difference is that Shabbat ends with havdallah, but that there is no ritual to end your time in the wilderness. The author of that essay (whose name escapes me now) said that's why s/he often feels sad when returning to normal life, which is pretty true.

I also realized that I've always had a ritual for ending my outdoor time. A shower. But not just any shower. One that delights in the luxury of warm, running water and the feel of it on my skin. One with a soap that's different from the one I used at camp, one that smells fresh and clean. When I thought about it in my post-camping shower this time, I realized how similar it is to the havdallah ritual in its use of my senses, especially the smelling and the warmth.

Havdallah Hooray!

2008-06-10T20:35:00.004-08:00

I ordered a really cool Havdallah set online a while back. It seems like forever ago. I finally got it today, and I'm so very excited. It's really beautiful. It's made of wood, painted blue with pomegranates and grapes. The pieces stack to make something that resembles a vase. The bottom part is the Havdallah candle holder, the kiddush cup fits in an opening on the top, and then there's a piece that goes on top of that which is a spice jar on one side and if you flip it over, it holds your Shabbat candles. I think it's really cleverly designed.

I'm going to use it this weekend. I won't be able to attend services, which is a bummer, but I'm also going to be celebrating a pretty proper Shabbat. I'll probably end up breaking the carrying rule, and I might have to start a fire, but I won't be doing anything that I consider work. I know that I don't set halacha, but that's good enough for me right now. After work on Friday, I'm driving out to my parents' house, picking up their dog and some camping supplies, and then I'll go up near Denali for the weekend. It's going to be nice, I think. I hope. I'll have a couple books to read, a dog that likes to go hiking, and some fairly unspoiled wilderness to enjoy it in.

Blog Link: Shavuot (and my weekend)

2008-06-08T22:05:00.005-08:00

This weekend was really disappointing for me. I didn't get to keep Shabbat at all, and for the first time, I wasn't even able to harbor the delusion that I was going to try and it really bothered me.

You see, my bathroom wall decided to give out this past week, and Saturday was the only day my dad would be able to help me demo the old shower surround, because it was going to need a day or so to dry out before we put up new sheetrock. And, of course, the only day we could do that was Sunday, which is also the day the Temple was planning a Shavuot gathering. Granted, we finished putting up the drywall in time that I could have gone to the service, but...my parents were planning to go to a wedding and needed me to watch their dog. Plus, I haven't had a shower since Friday, so I'm not fit for being seen in public.

Ugh. I was really looking forward to talking about the Torah portion at services this week. And the Shavuot all-nighter. Grrr. But at least my bathroom will look good.

I did find this really neat article about Shavuot on Treehugger.com: Explore the Hebrew Holiday of Shavuot that talks about how Jewish holidays tend to have a strong connection to nature and food, and then talks about how that's true for this particular holiday. I loved that it was on a secular blog about nature and living with a connection to the earth.

Blog Link: Shalom

2008-06-06T21:04:00.002-08:00

From Jewlicious: Dare to Bless

This one starts out with a little bit about this week's parsha. My favorite part comes at the end, when he breaks down the word "shalom".

Reb Shlomo taught that the very lettes of the word Shalom teach us important lessons about peace. 'Shalom' has three letters, Shin, Lamed, and Mem.

Shin - The first way to bring peace is to bring two sides together, like the middle of the 'shin'. (The letter 'shin' consists of three 'vavs' which are joined at the bottom).

Lamed - The tallest letter. It goes from the highest to the lowest. If you want to bring peace, you have to stick out.

Mem - The 'mem' is closed, with no openings. Shalom has to be complete, like a little wall. The wall of peace has to be complete. You can't say, "I am peaceful, but I have a little opening for getting mad in an emergency."

Meeting with the Rabbi

2008-06-03T19:37:00.003-08:00

I met with the Rabbi today, for my consultation in lieu of classes. We talked about the progress I was making with the Hebrew. I think he thinks I'm learning quickly. He gave me a chance to ask any questions that I had, and I didn't have too many yet. There were some words in the book that I was working with that I didn't think I was reading correctly, so he helped me out. The words didn't sound like Hebrew in my mouth. One of my mistakes was that I had confused two letters. You're never going to say the word correctly if you have the wrong letters. So that was an easy fix, really. I didn't know how to pronounce a particular vowel combination, so he helped me with that. He also showed me an ending that was going to mess me up pretty good, because it involved a silent letter that wouldn't usually be silent.

Then we talked about why I'm interested in Judaism and its relationship to ecology. I think he was scared that I was going too new age with it. Its not that at all, really. I think that some of the people who write about that area are doing it with a new agey perspective, but those ideas aren't intriguing in a satisfying way. I mean, it's great to consider the patience of a rock, but ultimately, the imagery fails because patience requires free will or at least some kind of choice. The Rabbi suggested that I try looking at a few scholars he was aware of, and I promised that I would.

For me, the nexus of G-d and nature is valuable. I think that nature forces you to be in the moment. When you appreciate the beauty of the mountains around you, your mind is drawn to the Creator of those mountains; in that moment that takes your breath away, you find G-d. You need to have that same sense of awe when you light the shabbat candles. When you're hiking, you're looking out for bears that might eat you and roots you might trip on. You're not thinking about your laundry or your bills. This is the same mindset you should have when you pray or study Torah.

Since I know a lot more about nature than I do about G-d, it seems like a good way in. A way to teach my mind to focus on G-d and push the distractions to the side. Surely there have been writers, in the past 5000 or so years who have written things that can help me with that. I just wish that I had been better able to explain all of this to the Rabbi. I got about halfway there. When I leave his office, I always think of that genius thing I should have said, because I walk away thinking about the questions he asked and why I was unsatisfied with my own answers.

Kabbalah on Green: Consciousness and the environment

2008-06-01T15:15:00.003-08:00

by Yehuda Berg

I picked up this book on a whim at Borders. I'm exploring how Judaism interacts with nature, so the title piqued my interest. And then I saw who wrote and published it, and, knowing how controversial the Kabbalah Centre is among the Jewish community, I thought it would make for an interesting read. It is interesting, but it's also raising a lot of questions, a number of them with Berg's logic. This book report is different than my others. I'm writing this one as I read the book, so it is more of a dialectical than a report or a review.

The first chapter talks about Al Gore and how his Presidential campaign losses were destiny, and if he had not lost, he would not have gone on to do the projects he did. Berg implies that Gore would not have been as green if he had been President. I don't know about that. It can never be disproven, of course, but the fact is that Gore has been a proponent of environmental concerns for a long time now. I remember reading about things he was doing back when I was a kid and really into 50 Simple Things Kids Can Do to Save the Earth. I would argue that Al Gore's green-ness has nothing to do with what happened in 2000 or 2004.

Berg does make a good point about how people tend to think in terms of "cleaning up", rather than preventing a mess. Especially when it comes to the environment. It would be better if we could change our focus and prevent the types of crises we get ourselves into, but, alas. We are who we are. Berg loses me when he moves on to say that our negative thoughts contribute to global warming, because they somehow rearrange or change atoms into pollution and that if we gave off only positive energy, atoms would become beautiful things like roses. As I understand it, atoms are atoms. They are basic and can't be changed from one thing to another. I have a really hard time with that concept. People would need to have the power of G-d for that to work.

He uses a lot of observations of word similarities to bolster his arguments. I don't know enough Hebrew to know if these hold any water. Adam...atom. Wholeness...holiness. They're useful pneumonic devices, but pretty weak evidence.

Lest it sound like I disagree with everything Berg says, or that I read the entire book cynically, I do agree with some of what's written in chapter 3. I agree that G-d manifests himself in nature, and that we needn't look to the Heavens to find G-d; we can look to the mountains and the trees. Berg also talks about how everything is interconnected, which makes sense when you're talking about pollution from the United States having an effect on Southeast Asia. I'm not as willing to believe that lies and disrespect can cause an earthquake. I think Sharon Stone tried to say something like that recently, and it didn't go over too well.

In the end, I did not finish the book. I got to chapter 4 and realized that it doesn't apply to what I'm interested in studying, so it's on the shelf. I'll finish it someday, maybe.

Service 5-31-2008

2008-05-31T22:25:00.004-08:00

The big thing that I learned today was mostly about myself. I learned that I can follow along with the Hebrew now! I couldn't have kept up with everybody else if I hadn't been pretty familiar with the prayers and liturgy already, but I wasn't a slave to the transliteration, and I feel proud of that.

The moment that I'm most proud of had nothing to do with the actual service. There was a woman who was wearing a tallit that had Hebrew text on it that didn't have any vowels on it, and I still managed to read that it said "Jerusalem". I haven't been that excited to read a single word since I was about three years old.

I'm very glad that I've been studying. Even though I'm a complete nerd and would have wanted to learn the Hebrew anyway, I had no idea how rewarding it would actually be for me. Language is a big part of culture, and now that I'm starting to make the language part of the way that I think, I'm really starting to feel like I belong. I've said it before, but it's very true. I felt much less like an outsider and more like a participant today.

Informed Choices

2008-05-28T21:58:00.006-08:00

Some people think that Reform Judaism disregards halacha and that its members pick and choose their mitzvot.

I think it's more about making informed choices about your practice. For me, the relative non-emphasis on keeping all 613 commandments has given me the freedom to incorporate them thoughtfully into my life. Every change that I've made in my life so far has been purposefully done. Because I have embraced each as a choice, I do them joyfully and as an act of free will.

If they had all been thrust upon me, and if I were going to be judged by how well I performed them, it all would have been rote and mechanical. I would not have had the luxury of time to understand why G-d wants what He wants, why it's done a certain way, or what lesson I should learn by doing it.

Since G-d went to the trouble of granting us free will, He wants us to make our own decisions. Granted, He has also prescribed us a way of living which pleases Him the most. It is our job to reconcile the two, both by learning and by doing.

It's not necessarily that you're making informed decisions about what mitzvot to ignore, rather, it's about ensuring that there is knowledge and intention behind the action.

In services on Saturday, the Haftarah was from the book of Joshua. It wasn't a very happy passage. My Rabbi talked about how, at the time Joshua was writing, Jerusalem was under siege. Theology based on divine retribution was difficult to comprehend in a world where innocents - women and children - were starving and dying in the streets. He also said that in the Talmud, the Rabbis wrote, in an imaginary dialogue, that G-d said if the Israelites had just done the covenant, even if they forsook Him, He would have saved the city.

He said there is a lot of controversy on this point. According to him, Orthodox rabbis don't much like it when he brings it up. I honestly don't understand this yet. It would seem that the Orthodoxes, with their emphasis on halacha and mitzvot would support the idea of a

G-d who says that doing is more important than faith, and that by doing your faith should grow. Conversely, I would expect a Reform rabbi to say that believing should be put first, and trust that it would lead to doing. I'll have to ask about it at our next meeting.

I'm still in the learning phase right now. I know I'm not ideally observant, but I also know that my learning is going well and that so far I've been consistent in applying lessons into lifestyle. I started with faith. I'm trying not to intentionally or knowingly break halacha. It may happen recklessly or unknowingly at this point, though, and for that I'm sorry. All I can do is my best.

DIY: Tallit

2008-05-26T15:01:00.004-08:00

I've been thinking about getting a tallit for a while now.

At first, I put it off because they were so very expensive to order online, and I decided that books and candlesticks and kiddush cups and the like were more pressing needs.

Eventually, I decided that I would order one to celebrate my conversion. As I did more research, I found that they are a traditional gift for a b'nai mitzvah, because that is when the obligation to wear a tallit essentially takes effect. It seemed appropriate.

I spent some time shopping online for a tallit, trying to find one that would be affordable and still somehow represent me. There were some really amazing custom tallitot, some that were made to reflect a bat mitzvah girl's personality, others that represented the bar mitzvah boy's torah portion, some that were quilted, others that were woven, but none that were really what I imagined myself wearing.

So I decided to make my own.

At shabbat morning service this past week, I found myself really noticing the tallitot on the people around me. A few had selected theirs from the rack available for public use. A few had brought their own. All of them I had seen before, but for some reason, they seemed extra spectacular this time. I noticed that I really liked the fringe on one; it was a little more intricate than the others, but still very elegant. I saw that another woman had techelet in her tzitzit. The woman next to me had a tallit that appeared to have been handmade, maybe.

In the time when we were supposed to be meditating, I was designing my tallit. I'm not sure if that's something I should admit or not. I wanted it to be out of fleece, like the jacket I was wearing, probably because it occurred to me that if I had a nice, cozy tallit, I wouldn't have needed to wear my jacket. But also because that seemed to be the perfect fabric. Its presence is comforting and warm, and it is also a fabric that is almost always near me. Like many things Judaic, it just seemed right. I also knew that I wanted to use a soft green ribbon for stripes and the atarah, and that a line or two of backstitching with a similar green and a nice blue would set it off nicely. I haven't yet figured out how I will decorate the atarah specifically, but I like the idea of outlined Hebrew letters. Maybe they will say "etz hayim" or "HaShem ehad"...or both, separated by the Magen David. I also want to do some needleworked pine trees, and maybe some black-capped chickadees, but I'd have to find a nice pattern for that, I think. Or maybe I could sew on some patches with those designs, if I could find them.

When I got home, I was obsessed with the idea of making a tallit. And then I did a bad thing: I went shopping on Shabbat. I had to buy the materials. I bought some ivory fleece, ivory crochet thread for the tzitzit and fringe, pale green ribbon with pinstripes, embroidery floss in pale green, slate blue, ivory, brown, and pine green, and some lame flower-shaped patches that I was going to put in the corners, but have now decided to return. I tried really hard not to start working on it, but I was slightly unsuccessful. I researched how to tie the tzitzit and how big most people make their tallitot and found patterns for the Hebrew lettering I had envisioned.

As of now, my tallit is 24" by 72", has one ribbon stripe sewed on one end, a blue backstitched stripe sewed below that, and is about halfway fringed on that same end. I also have one tzitzit tied, ready to be attached. I feel compelled to mention that it's very clearly a hand-done thing. I'm not sure there's a perfectly straight line on the whole thing. But it's mine.

The New Reading Hebrew

2008-05-22T22:02:00.004-08:00

by C. Castberg, L.W. Adler, and Lillian W. Adler

Reviving book reports back from the dead...

My Rabbi suggested that I start my Hebrew studies with this book. He said that it might seem a little childish, but I should be able to learn my aleph-bet with no problems. And he was right.

This book is very simple to follow, due mostly to clever formatting.

Each page has 4 sections, each a different color. Lesson 1 is green, lesson 2 is blue, and so on. You read the section for the lesson you're on, which is only a couple sentences. Invariably, the last sentence is a fill-in-the-blank question. The answer will be on the next page, along with the next couple sentences. When you're answering so many questions in rapid succession, with instant feedback, it's very easy to breeze through the lesson.

At first, you feel a bit like you're on Sesame Street, but that feeling wears off pretty quickly. Once you realize that you're actually retaining the information, it's all worth it. Plus, you're learning the alphabet, and the last time you did that, you were probably a child. It seems natural and logical.

I made it through the book in about 2 weeks, and I definitely feel like it was time well spent. You don't learn much vocabulary in this book, but by the end, you can phonetically read Hebrew. I probably sound like a first-grader when I do it, but I'm reading, and it feels good.

Now, on to learning what the words mean!

Blog Link: Paying Attention to Detail

2008-05-20T11:17:00.004-08:00

From Radical Torah: Paying Attention to Detail

I'm at a point in my studies in which my Rabbi is allowing me to direct my own curriculum, for the most part. At the moment, we're focusing on learning to read and understand Hebrew, and liturgy.

So I've been reading a lot of blogs lately, trying to find out what other Jews are talking about on the topic of prayer and ritual (its also much less dry than reading the siddur). I liked this article, because it explains one of my biggest questions right now: why is Judaism so darned complicated?

And I love its basic answer: so one must continue learning.

This article is focused on the brachot related to eating various types of foods, but that simple premise applies to much of Judaism, I think.

Service 5-17-2008

2008-05-17T14:06:00.005-08:00

I've made it about halfway though my Hebrew alphabet book so far. There's still a lot that I have to learn about how to phonetically read Hebrew, but it was fun to practice at service this morning. I tried really hard to follow along with the rest of the congregation, based on what I know so far.

I had a hard time keeping up, but it felt really good to try. Knowing just the little bit that I've got so far makes it a little bit like being in kindergarten again, but I've certainly come a long way in only a week!

I'm really excited to finish learning the sounds, and even more excited to learn what all the words mean. It's going to be really gratifying. I'll feel less like a stranger in a strange land, and much more like a Jew.

My Rabbi also noticed the tattoo on my foot for the first time today. He didn't say anything about it being against halacha. He just said that he'd never seen one on a foot before and asked if it hurt. I was kind of half worried about that.

Blog Link: Sustainable Judaism

2008-05-16T18:52:00.002-08:00

From Radical Torah: The Questions We Must Ask

I found this really interesting. One of the areas that I'm studying is Judaism and ecology. I came across this blog entry, and it definitely made me think. We usually use the word "sustainable" in terms of green living. Here, that philosophy is applied to spirituality.

It's actually a really strong metaphor. There are people who go to pretty extreme lengths to make environmentally ethical decisions. They buy specific products, avoid certain activities, and are conscious of their impact on the planet.

These are wonderful things to do, and I do them to the best of my ability (and budget).

I think religious devotion deserves those same standards. The Torah asks that of us.

It also asks us to be ethical stewards of the earth.

This just happens to dovetail nicely. Torah certainly is a tree of life.

News Link: New Einstein letter about religion found

2008-05-13T20:48:00.006-08:00

This is one of those stories you just have to comment on. I found it at news.yahoo.com, but it will fall off their servers in a couple of weeks. I printed it to an image and attached it to this posting.

I've always been a bit fascinated by Einstein and his stance on religion. There was so much room for contradiction.

You have a man who was incredibly logical and yet very imaginative. He was raised a Jew, but lived during a time where even God himself seemed to forget about the covenant. It's sometimes hard for people now to figure out how to keep their faith in the face of scientific discoveries. It must have been even harder when that struggle was compounded by the Shoah.

I wouldn't blame Einstein a bit for thinking that belief in God is childish. It certainly must have seemed futile in his mind, given the events of his time.

Even though certain Einstein quotes about religion (especially "science without religion is lame; religion without science is blind") have
been cited as proof that a man of faith can also be a man of science, this new information says Einstein wasn't an example of that phenomenon. And that's a fine thing.

Einstein was, after all, only a man. He left us an amazing legacy: the theory of relativity, as well as a face to the very personal struggle between faith and reason.

I still find the quotes inspirational. They aren't an answer; they are more of a trailhead for your own journey toward truth and understanding. You can agree or disagree with his statements, use them to raise your own questions, and ultimately, come to your own conclusions, just as Einstein did.

Previously, people would bolster their arguments with something along the lines of, "Science not only purifies the religious impulse of the dross of its anthropomorphism but also contributes to a religious spiritualization of our understanding of life." That might still be valid, but Einstein would probably end it with this: "I am by heritage a Jew, by citizenship a Swiss, and by makeup a human being, and only a human being, without any special attachment to any state or national entity whatsoever."

As I read through Einstein quotes to choose a few for this article, I realized that my favorites have nothing to do with religion or science. They are merely observations about life:
"Falling in love is not at all the most stupid thing that people do — but gravitation cannot be held responsible for it."
"I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. For knowledge is limited, whereas imagination embraces the entire world, stimulating progress, giving birth to evolution."

Interesting.

Shopping Spree

2008-05-13T18:40:00.004-08:00

I finally bought myself ritual items. Finally. I didn't feel ready before, I guess.
I ordered some shabbat candlesticks. They're travel-sized, so they're easy to put away.
I bought a kiddush cup that sort-of matches them.
I also bought a havdalah set. I think it's really clever. It was designed for travel, I guess, so it all fits together into one unit for simple storage when it's not in use. But the most clever thing, I think, is that it doubles as a shabbat set. The spice box, when flipped over, holds two candles.

It will be nice to celebrate properly, with hiddur mitzvah, rather than just making do. I know that my Judaica won't be the most beautiful in the world, but it's a start. The milestone is that they are mine now, that I'm finally taking ownership of shabbat.

A bunch of books are also headed my way. The first of them arrived today, my books on learning Hebrew. I also ordered a couple books on Judaism and environmental stewardship, as well as siddurim for both the Reform and Conservative movements. I'm really excited about studying and learning these things. I can't wait until I don't have to flip through the prayerbook to find the transliteration!

Treyf: Parents just don't understand

2008-05-11T21:05:00.004-08:00

I spent the weekend with my family, celebrating both Mother's Day and my sister's birthday.

Mom planned our menu and brought the food. For dinner on Saturday, she served barbequed pork sandwiches and shrimp stir-fry. Talk about treyf!

I ate it, though, and it tasted pretty good. I hope that the idea of shalom beit covers me for the day. It's not like I keep kosher all the time, but I do try to celebrate Shabbat with kosher foods. It's one of the ways that I try to give God his day.

Oh, well.

I call myself Jewish

2008-05-07T13:47:00.003-08:00

I identified myself as a Jew for the first time. It was at work, because I needed to leave early in order to attend a meeting with the rabbi for my conversion.
I probably could have just said that I had an appointment, but I asked for a religious accommodation instead.

I've been studying for about six months now, and it feels like time to finally stop being between religions.

I recognize that I don't know enough yet. I've finally gotten though all the major holidays, so now I'm in charge of my curriculum. My rabbi and I have decided that it would be good for me to learn Hebrew, at least at a prayerbook level, and study the liturgy. I want to understand the prayers that we say during the services and have them mean something to me while I say them. After I get though that, we'll move on to the connection between Judaism and the natural world and tikkun olam.

The Messiah Question

2008-03-01T19:03:00.002-09:00

My mom called me today. She's been at a Women of Faith conference in Vancouver, BC with my aunt, and some other friends.

One of those friends studies Hebrew at her local synagogue. Mom asked her questions about what she studies, what she believes, what Jews study, what Jews believe. Then she called me. She wanted to know what I'm being taught, and what I believe.

I halfway chickened out.

I told her that I'm still learning, and that I believe in God. She pressed the issue, saying that forgiveness only comes through Christ and the cross, and if they're teaching me things that are making me waver in my faith that I should stop going.

I told her that I still have my faith.

I told her that I haven't asked the question of why Jews don't believe that Christ was the Messiah, which is kind of a lie, but kind of the truth, too. I told her that I wasn't sure how it all worked, but that I was enjoying learning, but haven't made it to the prophesies yet, and why Jews don't believe Jesus fulfilled all the prophesies.

She said that her friend told her that he didn't fulfill them all, but that he would when he returns. Even though that's the conclusion I reached myself, that's the first time I've heard it form anybody else. I think that the Messiah will fulfill all the prophesies, and when he does, he earns the title. Jesus just might be that person, but he'll have to wait until he comes back to finish the job, I guess.

I don't know about the forgiveness part, though. I feel like I should have an answer for that, but I don't. I'll have to ask the Rabbi, when we get through with talking about mourning.

Mental Tikkun Olam

2008-02-25T20:56:00.005-09:00

In my ongoing search for ways to improve myself and to help perfect the world, I came across a pretty cool organization: To Write Love on Her Arms. They work to raise awareness of depression, drug addiction, self-mutilation, and related issues; they do this by partnering with rock bands who are receptive to the message and don't mind sharing the stage for a few minutes.

This is, I believe, a valuable service, because there are a great many people out there, particularly young people, who don't know where to go for help. There are others who choose not to get help due to the stigma associated with mental illness, and feel like they are the only ones who suffer, but when someone has the courage to stand up in front of an audience and say that there are others out there, it can help to give sufferers the strength to seek necessary treatment.

It's a pretty powerful thing. There are talented writers who maintain a blog of the group's activities, and document stories of lives transformed. I've spent days reading every article.

Eventually, I decided to join their Street Team, in an effort to continue their good works. I hope to encourage them to come to Alaska, and to help the people here. As a state, we've got huge suicide problem (particularly in the villages), and many of us are afflicted with Seasonal Affective Disorder.

If you want to join, click here.

Service 2-23-2008

2008-02-24T19:59:00.004-09:00

Today's Torah portion covered the Golden Calf Incident.

The discussion didn't center on idolotry, though, which was pretty cool. Instead, we talked about God's discussion with Moses. I hadn't really ever noticed that Moses found out about the idol from God, while he was still up on Mt. Sinai.

The Rabbi pointed out that the way it was phrased (...what YOUR PEOPLE have done...) was a lot like how spouses argue. The relationship between Moses and God was that personal, familiar, and passionate. It's a powerful picture.

What comes next is equally revealing: God tells Moses to go away and deal with the people, because God is so very angry that he needs to be alone, because all he wants to do is destroy the Hebrews. Incredibly, Moses is the one to calm him down. Moses points out that God had just brought the people out of Egypt, and that it wouldn't make sense to kill them now, because what would the Egyptians think? God agrees to give them another chance, the Hebrews live on, and God...apologizes.

This brings up a terrifically interesting issue: if God did something that requires an apology, then does that mean he can make mistakes? The Rabbi says that there are midrashim that say, yes, God is falliable. And since God isn't perfect, he likewise does not expect perfection from us. What he wants is for us to follow the laws as best we can, and admit when we've done wrong.

It's beautifully freeing, especially for me, being a perfectionist...from a Christian tradition that always felt like it demanded absolute perfection in order to be worthy. I know I'm not the only one who felt that way; when I was in high school, there was a huge problem with eating disorders among the high school youth group.

Service 2-16-2008

2008-02-24T19:42:00.004-09:00

We talked about the menorah which God commanded the Hebrews to make on Mt. Sinai.

It was supposed to be put on display outside the meeting tent. That's interesting, because you'd expect a holy object to be kept safely inside. It was also supposed to be built to a very specific design, and probably looked a lot like a gold tree. A 100 pound gold tree.

The Rabbi wasn't there, but the lovely woman who was leading the discussion asked us to consider what that might symbolize. We talked about the light and warmth, and how that would be a natural gathering place for the community.

She also asked us to consider what the significance of the light might be. She brought a whole bunch of texts for us to read in order to give us ideas. We talked about how Torah is meant to be a light unto our lives. We talked about how fire keeps animals away, which would be a very practical thing. I thought about how the appearance of the menorah was similar to that of a tree...and trees are like bushes...and this one was on fire...like burning...as in the burning bush, which would have been a relatively recent event. It would have made God seem like he was very nearby, and might even speak again.

Conversion Class

2008-02-24T19:33:00.005-09:00

We haven't been having conversion class the past couple weeks.

Yesterday, it was decided that the class would disband in favor of individualized instruction. This is probably a very good thing, because as it stands, there are three candidates (including myself), and we're all very different. One is converting in order to start a Jewish family, and it's a very beautiful thing. The other seems to be more interested in the etherial, whereas I'm a bit more practical and philosophical, I think.

Now, we will be meeting with the Rabbi on an individual basis, once per month. Because of this, the study will have to be much more independent, and I will try very hard to make more frequent updates. I will also be more diligent in writing about the services I attend. I know I've said it before, but I really mean it this time.

Conversion Class

2008-02-02T19:46:00.001-09:00

Again, I was the only student in attendance, so it was just me, the Rabbi, and our songleader meeting in the Rabbi's office. If it stays like this, I think I'll like it. The discussion has been very informal, with the Rabbi quizzing me about the week's topic to figure out how much I already know, and then we talk about the rest of what I need to learn. And then we talk about other things.

Today's talk was about Purim, which is a celebration of the Jews' victory over the evil Haman. Except for it may not have ever happened... The story goes that the King of Persia, needed a wife, so naturally, he held a beauty contest. He found a very beautiful woman named Esther, who just happened to be Jewish. She didn't tell her husband that she was Jewish, on the advise of Mordecai, as there was a lot of persecution of the Jews going on in Persia at the time. Eventually, Haman asks the King to order that all Jews should be killed. The King goes along with this, and Esther and Mordecai have a problem with that idea. So Mordecai talks to Esther, and convinces her that she's in a position to save the Jewish people, as long as she risks her life by revealing her true identity to her husband. She does this, and the King gives a very illogical answer: that he cannot reverse his original decree; he can only order that the Jews have the right to defend themselves. Esther and the king also host a dinner and invite Haman. They get him drunk, and then they kill him, as well as all of his sons. After that, the army goes out after the Jews, and they fight back, and there's a bloodbath, with thousands of Persians dying left and right.

The Jews survived, so now we eat and drink to celebrate. And since Haman was brought down with a plan devised by a woman, we mock him roundly. Every year on Purim, the book of Esther is read to the congregation. Every time Haman is mentioned, the crowd is supposed to blot out his name by booing, stomping, or using noisemakers. My Rabbi likes to have people cheer when Esther's name comes up.

Another Purim tradition is that everybody dresses up in costumes. Some congregations only dress up the children. Others restrict the costume choices to characters from the story. Our Rabbi likes to have everybody dress up, and they should wear whatever they want. He said that he's gone as a Renaissance figure, a Star Wars character...lots of things. Some Jewish families also use Purim as an alternative to Halloween.

A vital part of the Purim celebration is eating and especially drinking. Lots of drinking. It is said that we should drink until we can't tell the difference between "arur Haman" and "baruch Mordecai", which mean "cursed is Haman" and "blessed is Mordecai", respectively. That's pretty drunk. It's a day of merrymaking and mockery, and it's kind of like a Jewish Mardi Gras...back in the day when Mardi Gras wasn't about pure debauchery.

Purim is also the only Jewish holiday which prescribes gift-giving. Traditionally, food-gifts are given to friends and family, and money and food is given to charity. It's a mitzvah to give those gifts.

Conversion Class

2008-01-26T14:23:00.000-09:00

I went to class again today. It had been cancelled last week due to a Shabbaton celebration. I was the only one who attended today.

We talked a bit about Havdallah, which is the ceremony that ends Shabbat and begins the regular week. It's celebrated with wine, spices, and a braided candle. The wine is just a standard Jewish thing, according to my Rabbi. He says that any time there's a celebration, there's wine, and there's no special significance to it in this case. The spices are because Jewish tradition holds that we are granted a special extra bit of soul to help us celebrate Shabbat, and at Havdallah, it departs from us. Usually, when your soul departs, if you don't die, you feel faint. When you faint, you get smelling salts to bring you back....in this case, the spices are meant to stand in place of the smelling salts. The braided candle is symbolic for a number of reasons. The two that my Rabbi pointed out to me (that were significant to me) were that Shabbat begins and ends with lighting candles, and that this candle is braided, or woven, to represent paths we take in life, and how we're interdependent.

We also talked about Tu B'Shvat, which is new year for the trees. I really like this holiday, because of its emphasis on nature and hope (but not cheesy hope). It celebrates the cycle of dormancy and growth, because it marks when the sap starts flowing through the tree again, bringing the tree back to life. That's hopeful. It also celebrates that Spring is coming, which is huge for me. Living where I do, Spring seems so far away...

My Rabbi also told me about a Kabbalistic seder that's done on Tu B'Shvat. He says it's really beautiful. From his description, there's lots of wine, lots of fruit, and then a meal. And some readings to go along with it all. If I can talk some of my friends into participating, I just might try it this year.

Apt Torah Portion

2008-01-18T22:54:00.000-09:00

Commentary on this week's Torah portion. It has a stunning parallel to events currently happening in my life.

I just quit my night job. I've been working two jobs for over a year and a half, and it just got to be too much. I want to be able to have friends, and spend time with them. I want to eat food that doesn't come out of a package. I want to go to the gym. I want time to read and learn. I'd maybe even like to have a romantic relationship again.

Still, it's a drastic change in my life. I barely know what to do with myself on those rare occasions when I get a weekend off. It's daunting, and I don't even really have my freedom yet, because I have to serve out my two weeks.

Shabbat service: I skipped

2008-01-06T21:31:00.000-09:00

I woke up and didn't feel well, so I didn't go to the service on Saturday. I feel kind of bad about it still. But I really did need the rest; I've been fighting a lingering ickiness for most of the past month, and my schedule hasn't been helping matters any.

Conversion Class: 11-24-2007

2007-12-30T14:38:00.000-09:00

Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur: the High Holy Days

These holidays are commanded in the Torah.

It was commanded that on the First day of Tishri, there would be a celebration, because that would be the head of the year. Originally, this holiday was not called Rosh Hashanah, and it bore no connection to Yom Kippur. It was merely commanded to be a celebration on that day which included the blowing of the shofar. In modern times, it's the day to begin the process of repentance. It's also a day that is associated with the creation of the universe, and as such, we are to repent with the intention of tikkun olam (making the world a better place).

Some rituals associated with Rosh Hashanah are the blowing of the shofar, eating honey with apples, making round challah, and tashlich. Tashlich is the casting of crumbled bread into flowing waters; this is supposed to represent the casting off of sins.

It was also commanded that on the 10th day of Tishri that there would be a day of atonement. Jews are called to straighten out their affairs with God and to afflict their souls. In modern times, we afflict our souls with fasting. To do that, we eat no food and drink no water.

It is important to realize that Jews believe that God can not forgive sins committed against other people; only the person wronged can do that. Therefore, today's Jews use the ten days between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur to make amends with the people they may have wronged. These days are called the "Days of Awe".

Shabbat service: My First Torah Service

2007-12-29T15:17:00.001-09:00

Today we did a Torah service. Usually, we just do more of a prayer
service and we only look at the Torah in the Ark. Today, though, we
took it out and showed it around. We touched our prayer books to the
Scroll and then kissed them. Then the rabbi undressed the Torah, and
prepared to read today's Torah portion. He told us that he had planned
to read the section with the burning bush, but changed his mind. We
heard the beginning of the book of Exodus, instead. He also told us
that it's part of the tradition to have somebody read along in a
Chumash, just to make sure that the pronounciation is correct. He
encouraged the Hebrew readers to call out corrections, if necessary.

Sent from my iPhone

I've been neglectful

2007-12-27T11:24:00.000-09:00

I haven't been keeping up with my blogging lately. Actually, I haven't
been keeping up with my studies, either. Or going to class
consistently. This is what happens when you try to jam-pack Hanukkah
and Christmas and flu season into one month...and you work in retail.
I promise to be better when I'm 27.

I had planned posts on a couple classes dating back to November, as
well as on Jews who make me laugh, like Alex Borstein and Zach Braff.
Look for information on great books, too. I'll let you know when I get
around to reading any...

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jewish History and Culture, Part VIII

2007-12-11T20:52:00.000-09:00

The final part. Whoo hoo!

I have to say, this was probably the least interesting section of the book. I think it was meant to be an overview of the Jews' influence on American culture, but....it ended up being a pretty dull list of Jews and a 2-sentence summary of why they're famous.

The notables are broken down into groups: Actors, Writers, Musicians, Athletes, Doctors Scientists, and Political Figures.

It just didn't feel relevant to me, I guess. There wasn't enough information to do any of the people mentioned, and their accomplishments, justice.

I do feel somewhat inspired to do research on selected figures/pop culture icons/Jews and write up posts about their Judaism. I might do something similar for TV shows, movies, or songs with Jewish characters or themes. Just for fun.

Saturday's Service: Hanukkah Shabbat

2007-12-09T19:37:00.000-09:00

On Saturday, we didn't have a minyan, and the Rabbi was gone visiting his son, but we held service anyway. We didn't do as much in Hebrew as they normally do, because I would have had a lot of difficulty participating, and with only about 5 people, that would be pretty significant.

Otherwise, we talked about the special haftarah portion for Hanukkah Shabbat. It's from Zachariah, chapter 4. It describes one of the prophet's visions, and was chosen to emphasize the spiritual aspects of the holiday over the military side. There's an angel talking to Zachariah, and he describes the rededication of the altar and the menorah.

We also talked about how we can make Hanukkah significant to us in modern terms. It's all well and good to light some candles and spin some dreidels, but there has to be something more to make it worthwhile. Some people talked about Hanukkah and its contrasts with Christmas as a yearly opportunity to celebrate being Jewish and not succumbing to the silliness that surrounds the contemporary celebrations of Christmas. Others talked about the fact that Hanukkah commemorates the re-dedication of the Temple, and that we can use it as a time to re-dedicate ourselves to a Jewish way of life.

2nd Night of Hanukkah

2007-12-05T23:17:00.000-09:00

I had to work until 10:30 tonight, so I lit my Hanukkah candles late, but I did manage to do it for the first time.

I'm also celebrating a minor miracle: I found my cat when I got home from work.

The ironic part is that I stayed home from my day job in order to look for the cat. I couldn't take time off from my night job, so I asked my sister to check for him from time to time and left for work.

When I got home, I found him hiding under my boardwalk! I know he wasn't there earlier today.

Hooray for Hanukkah!

News Links: Biblical Archaeology in the News

2007-12-05T10:02:00.001-09:00

On National Geographic's website, Eilat Mazar identifies a ruin in Jerusalem as the Wall of Nehemiah. She points to pottery shards and other artifacts to date the structure, and the biblical record to confirm the identity. Not everybody agrees, as the article points out, but it's an interesting theory. For a weak Hanukkah-Nehemiah tie-in, see Faithhacker.

Yahoo News reports that archeologists have found a palace thought to belong to Queen Helena of Mesopotamia. She lived in modern-day Iraq and converted to Judaism in the 1st century C.E. After her conversion, she moved to Jerusalem, and, the theory goes, built a palace that the Romans destroyed when they took Jerusalem in 70 C.E. For a neat Hanukkah tie-in, all this would have been happening right at the time Hanukkah celebrations were first becoming popular.

First Night of my First Hanukah

2007-12-04T23:11:00.000-09:00

I had intended to observe the holiday in my home, but....

My cat ran away. He charged the door when my sister was letting her dog out. So I spent the evening looking for him. Two and a half hours in the cold, and still no cat. I'm bummed; it's no fun to lose a pet, and it's even less fun on a holiday.

That may be what I get for making plans to go (Christmas) gift shopping with a friend during Hanukkah...

I skipped class and the service today.

2007-12-01T22:13:00.000-09:00

I haven't been feeling well, so I decided to stay home and sleep, since I had the opportunity. It was a blessing to be able to turn off the alarm clock and not care when I woke up. I never get to do that.

Service probably involved a discussion of how the Judah and Tamar story depicts an inappropriate and incorrect application of levirate marriage and was probably intended to be part of a smear campaign on David.

Class discussion would have centered around sukkot, which I haven't done a fantastic amount of research on yet.

Decorations

2007-11-28T22:29:00.000-09:00

My mom noticed that I didn't have any decorations around my apartment this year.

Usually, I do just a little something.

Mom's really into crafting, and so our family typically has a lot of handmade decorations all over everywhere at Christmastime. She always puts up a tree that is completely covered in angels and other handmade ornaments. I made some of them as a child; there are a lot of ornaments where we have two on the tree. One is the one that mom made, and the other is the one that I did. Until I turned about 12, mine are definitely a little sloppier than mom's, but she loves them anyway.

Mom loves Christmas decorations so much that she started collecting angels. At first, it was a Christmastime-only collection, but now she keeps some of them up all year. She also has a crèche on display year-round.

So, obviously, she was going to notice that my place doesn't look very festive. In typical mom fashion, she brought me some decorations that she had stored for me, and put them up. I now have a string of quilted mittens at my fireplace, and a stocking hung by the chimney (with care).

Mom means the best with all of this. She's trying to do things that she thinks will make me happy, and remind me of the beautiful things at a time of year where it can be pretty cold and bleak. And she doesn't know that I'm pretty sure that I'm going to go through with the conversion; she still believes that I'm simply learning about Judaism.

It just goes to show that it's not going to be the easiest path. I'll probably never be able to be completely traditional in my observances. Instead, I'll have to find a balance between Judaic traditions and family traditions. I'm sure it can be done, but it's going to take a lot of patience and understanding.

Saturday's Service: cancelled

2007-11-27T00:15:00.000-09:00

When I went to the temple for shabbat morning service, there was no minyan, so we couldn't hold a proper service. Instead, we talked about the torah portion (Genesis 32:4 - 36:43), which covered the rape of Dinah.

This is an interesting story. It's not often talked about in Christian churches, and I'd never been taught the story before. It's a really difficult and confusing passage. We mostly talked about it in the context of honor killings, and of the marginalization of women in the biblical text. The Rabbi mentioned a comparison to The Godfather again, this time in reference to Jacob.

I understand it as an unethical overreaction to an incredibly difficult situation. Key parts of the story are missing. We don't know how Dinah felt about Shechem. Even that brings up the question of whether or not that matters. If it were a date-rape situation, would that make it less wrong? And if Shechem's actions weren't morally reprehensible, what effect does that have on the reaction of Dinah's brothers Simeon and Levi? It would seem that their reaction would be even more extreme and difficult to understand, and very unethical.

At the same time, Simeon and Levi come off very badly in the story, and it seems that the author is trying to paint them as unethical. It's all very much a gray area, though. Jacob rebukes them at the end of the story, saying that their actions have made him and his people look bad. It's a very weak admonition, and it's not even the last word in the argument; Simeon and Levi get that, in defense of their actions.

It's an extremely challenging text, and I really don't know what to think of it, other than to realize that there are as many reactions to a situation as there are people. Beyond that, there are a million ways to interpret the behavior, especially when it's recorded forever in a pretty cryptic fashion.

Blog Link: Faithhacker

2007-11-26T23:47:00.001-09:00

This is a topic that I touched on in my opening post, when I talked about the reasons why I was considering conversion. I'm concerned about the commercial endeavors of churches, the impact on the separation of church and state, and, ultimately, religious freedom.

Faithhacker posted about this very topic. It's especially interesting to me, because I have attended the church at the heart of this discussion, and even mentioned it in that post. The Faithhacker post brings up several of the issues which really do bother me: excessive evangelism, and the separation between church and state.

It's kind of sad, really, because I do feel that the ChangePoint people honestly think that they're trying to better the community, and a place like the Sports Dome really could have a positive effect. I just wish that they had made it a separate entity, as opposed to an extension of the church. I would want them to pay taxes at an appropriate rate (I don't know if it's for-profit or not). I would want them to keep the preaching out of it, even though I agree that the code of conduct for their facility is appropriate.

Basically, if it's an athletic facility, it should be treated like one. If it's really a church where people play indoor football, run track, and practice other sports, then it should be called one. I don't like the idea of claiming to support religious freedom, but in the same breath talk about converting people to your religion.

If there's one thing that I've learned, it's that committing to a religion should be an act of free will. It doesn't matter if it's a religion into which you were born, or one you chose for yourself.

Thanksgiving blogs

2007-11-21T12:23:00.000-09:00

Faithhacker has a nice post on how Thanksgiving should be seen as a universal American custom, rather than something Jews should avoid for fear of assimilation:
www.jewcy.com/faithhacker/thanksgiving_jewish_holiday

The Chutzpah Chronicles on Faithbook compare Thanksgiving to Shabbat. She says that the way most Americans celebrate Thanksgiving is similar to how she saw Shabbat celebrated in Jerusalem.
http://Newsweek.washingtonpost.com/onfaith/faithbook/2007/11/thanksgiving.html

These are good to know, particularly the faithbook link. I may not have the time to celebrate Shabbat completely now, but it's helpful to have a picture of how God might have intended us to observe the day.

Accidentally Following Tradition

2007-11-20T19:54:00.000-09:00

Another one from The Book of Jewish Practice:

"A biblical commentator, quoted by Nahmanides, noted that Judah chose the name for his first son while his wife named the second (Genesis 38:3-4). On the basis of this passage he suggested that in ancient times the father named the first child, the mother named the second. The custom, however is the opposite. The mother has the choice of name for the first child, the father for the second, and so on."

Oddly enough, my parents followed the tradition. I'm the oldest; my mother chose my first name. It was a coincidence, though. My mom won the right to name me in a hand of cards.

Although...you could argue that it was destined. If God does not play dice with the Universe, then my mother winning a card game doesn't have to be an accident.

Conversion Class

2007-11-18T22:17:00.000-09:00

In class, we talked about Hanukkah, and we covered a lot of the same information I had written in my previous post on the topic.

New information: Hanukkah or Chanukkah are the most correct transliterations of the word. If you want to be as correct as possible, it should be spelled without the C, but with a dot underneath the H. Nobody does it that way, though.

A menorah is different from a hanukkiah, which is the menorah used on Hanukkah. The menorah was a ritual item found in the Temple, and it had 7 branches. A hanukkiah is meant as a callback to that item, but it has 9 branches and is specifically tasked for the celebration of Hanukkah.

We talked about the two miracles of Hanukkah, and that the military victory story is probably the most true. The Rabbi pointed out that when Hanukkah was first celebrated, the Jews were under oppressive Roman rule, and a victory against the ruling military would, at that time, have seemed like a miracle. Eventually, the story of the cruse of oil was invented in order to create a "legitimate" miracle.

The Rabbi also pointed out that Hanukkah doesn't appear in the Torah, but it does appear in the apocrypha. They talk about the Maccabee rebellion in I and II Maccabees, including the idea that Hanukkah was originally celebrated as a kind of belated Sukkot.

Because the Rabbi is so very interested in history, he pointed out that the story of the Maccabees' rebellion indicates that the Greek army was very disorganized, and that the victory was...more than a little bit based on luck.

The Rabbi also said that he likes to ask his classes about why we celebrate Hanukkah.

He said that the most common answer is "to celebrate the miracle of the cruse of oil burning for 8 days".

After he asks, he likes to continue the class discussion for a few minutes, and then ask, "who believes in miracles?" He says that nobody ever raises their hands.

I would have. I totally believe, but I also believe that miracles aren't always supernatural events. I believe that "miracle" is another word for "luck". I just don't understand how people can have hope if they don't believe in miracles. Lucky there's a holiday just to celebrate miracles.

Saturday's Service: Mi Shebeirach

2007-11-18T20:52:00.000-09:00

Given the news I received on Friday about my friend's son, the prayer for healing took on an extra significance.

Mi shebeirach avoteinu

M'kor habracha l'imoteinu

May the source of strength who blessed the ones before us

Help us find the courage to make our lives a blessing

And let us say: Amen

Mi shebeirach imoteinu

M'kor habracha l'avoteinu

Bless those in need of healing with refuah sh'leimah

The renewal of body, the renewal of spirit

And let us say: Amen

Holiday Cards

2007-11-18T19:58:00.000-09:00

I ordered my cards today. My inspiration for the image was a kind of deconstructed hanukkiah, with nine candles arranged in more or less a straight line.

I like how peaceful and calm it looks.

I also like that it's not overtly for any holiday, really, but it won't look out of place in any Christmas card display.

My mother would approve, I think. Then again, she'll probably just be happy that I'm sending out cards at all.

If you read this

2007-11-16T23:01:00.000-09:00

A friend of mine just found out that her son has leukemia today.

She doesn't have health insurance.

The store where we work is going to put together a fund raiser for her, and hopefully that goes well.

It gets worse, too. Her landlord has decided to sell her apartment, so she needs to find another place to live. She doesn't know this yet; her mom is going to take care of it while she's in Seattle for 6 weeks for her son to get treatment.

Her mom has also signed her up for Extreme Makeover. I hope that she gets it; she's a wonderful person who deserves something good to happen to her soon.

If you happen to read this, please pray for her, and for her son. It would be a mitzvah, I'm sure.

My Notes: Hanukkah

2007-11-16T22:08:00.000-09:00

Even though it's one of the few Jewish holidays that I could have named off the top of my head prior to considering conversion, I was surprised to learn that Hanukkah is actually a very minor holiday. It's mostly just well-known because it's presented as a Jewish alternative to Christmas, but there's really very little correlation, other than a celebration of light.

Most of my information came from MyJewishLearning.com and their Hanukkah section.

HISTORY:

In 164 BCE, the Greeks were forcing assimilation on the Jewish people. The Greeks took over the Temple and started doing awful things, like sullying the altar by sacrificing pigs. A family by the name of Maccabee started a rebellion against the Greeks, and eventually won. Unfortunately, they were unable to clean and re-dedicate the Temple in time for the high holiday of Sukkot, so they decided to delay it a couple months. This is why Hanukkah lasts 8 days....because Sukkot does, as well. By this theory, Hanukkah is a celebration of the victory of a passionate, but weak, few against a mighty many.

MYTHOLOGY:

One of the popular Hanukkah stories is that, when they were rededicating the Temple, they found only one jar of kosher oil, which was enough to light the traditional menorah for one day. It would take 8 days to make more, so they lit the menorah, and God miraculously allowed the oil to last until more was ready. By this theory, Hanukkah is a celebration of a supernatural miracle.

MEANING:

Hanukkah is about miracles and Jewish identity. Not everybody believes the legend of the oil, but the successful rebellion of the Maccabees is much easier to swallow. I think that both stories are important, and each ultimately boils down to restoring the ability to observe Jewish customs.

I think that people need to believe that the impossible can happen with supernatural intervention. If you can believe in that, then you can always have hope, because even when things are as bleak as they can be, God can change it. It doesn't mean that he will, and it doesn't mean that if he chooses not to intervene that you're not a righteous person, but it does mean that deus ex machina is possible.

The other side of the coin is the more people-based miracle; the miracle of a few people defeating a well-trained, well-staffed army. These are more along the lines of the miracles that happen every day, where people work as hard as they can, and with God's help, they are able to overcome obstacles. It's important to remember that God doesn't just hand you anything on a silver platter; you have to do your part.

FOR ME:

Even though one of the themes of Hanukkah is Jewish identity and the preservation of a unique culture against the pressures of assimilation, I'm going to continue to celebrate it alongside Christmas.

Before you think I'm just too rebellious, let me explain.

While I very much believe in God in a way that I think is fairly Jewish, and I have found nothing in Judasim with which I disagree, the fact remains that my family will always celebrate Christmas. On December 25, my mom and dad will expect me to be at their house, sitting next to their Christmas tree, and going to a family dinner. That's our tradition, and it's a tradition filled with love and bonding. I'm not giving that up, even though the Christ part is much less significant to me. We were never into the mass part of it, anyway.

I will have Hanukkah in my own home, and I will appreciate it for what it is.

Blog Link: Faithhacker

2007-11-14T10:38:00.000-09:00

From Faithhacker:

A post on the Bal Shem Tov. The blogger tells a story about the Bal Shem Tov and a couple preparing to get married at an inn. It's a great example of how mundane actions can become beautiful opportunities for Tikkun Olam (making the world a better place).

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jewish History and Culture, Part VII

2007-11-13T12:57:00.000-09:00

This part covers Jewish history from the Holocaust to present. There's only one part after that, and it appears to be more about prominent figures than about history.

One of the things that impressed me the most about what I read in Part 7 is the significance of numbers with respect to Holocaust victims and survivors. I knew that Hitler killed 11 million people, and that 6 million of those people were Jewish. I knew that Final Solution was the first genocide, but what I never knew was that Jews themselves were never counted.

Jewish law says that a person should never be reduced to a number. Therefore, Jewish people were never counted. When you needed to figure out if you had a minyan present, a special 10-word verse was recited, with each person saying one word. If the verse got finished, then you had enough people to daven. Even when it came time to take a census, the people themselves were never counted. Each person paid half a shekel, and the money was counted in order to determine the number of Jews.

This, to me, makes the tragedy twofold; the people were killed when their names were taken from them and replaced with a number tattooed on their arms. They were killed again when their bodies died. This is one of the reasons why Anne Frank is such a powerful symbol of the time; she was an individual, not a cold statistic.

I'm not going to write much else about the Holocaust. The true tragedy is the number of people who turned a blind eye and failed to act. I'm not talking about immediately declaring war on the Third Reich. If countries had simply opened their borders to Jewish people and allowed immigration, things would have been much different.

After WWII, Israel was founded as a place where the Jewish people could be free of persecution. It hasn't been peaceful since, but it has grown amazingly quickly. For a country that has only existed since 1948, much has been accomplished in the way of development. I only wish that peace can be negotiated, and soon.

Conversion Class

2007-11-10T19:36:00.000-09:00

Today we talked about how Judaism represented a very different way of thinking about theology.

In Babylonia, they built ziggurats, which were kind of like step pyramids. They had a house on top, which was also a temple. The god lived in that house, and was often physically present in the form of an idol. If you managed to destroy the temple, then you destroyed the god's home. If the god was in the temple and you destroyed that, then your god was clearly stronger and more powerful than that one.

Judaism, however, did something a bit different. Their temple was a place for God to be when he is on earth, but there was no image of him there. His name was simply written on the wall. If you destroyed that temple, then you simply wiped his name away, but you didn't destroy God. This innovation also allowed God to be present in more than one place at the same time. The Rabbi describes it as an intentional correction in theology that came in the book of Deuteronomy, with the quote "I will show you a place where my name shall dwell". Not I. Just the name.

There were also some technical terms:

Polytheism: a relationship with multiple gods.

Monotheism: only one god exists, and any others are not real.

Monolatrism: a relationship with only one god, but recognition that others exist.

Polytheism was the standard prior to Abraham discovering that you could worship only one God and still be fine. This is often thought of as monotheism but according to what the Rabbi taught us today, that's somewhat of a misconception.

Judaism started out as monolatrism, recognizing that there are other gods, but that they are not as powerful or special as the God of Abraham. Monotheism appears in the Biblical text in Isaiah, which was written after the Babylonian exile.

Today's Service: Landmark

2007-11-10T15:45:00.000-09:00

For the first time, I was able to participate in some of the prayers. Some of this was because I'd heard the melodies and the words enough to feel confident in saying them. Another part was because the woman who was sitting next to me was nice enough to show me where the transliterated versions of the songs were in the siddur.

I really want to learn the Hebrew, though. It will mean more when I actually know what I'm saying. At the moment, I feel like my prayers are slightly less effective, because even though I have a basic idea of what we're saying, it's still kind of gibberish to me.

For a Reform congregation, we use a lot of Hebrew, and I like it. It makes me feel connected to the ancient tradition. I also really love the idea of being able to read the Bible in its original language, so I don't have to rely on interpreting somebody else's interpretation of the text.

I'll get there.

Tzdekah

2007-11-08T17:19:00.001-09:00

I did a mitzvah today, and I'm pretty sure I'm un-doing it now by writing about it.
But I'll continue.

I was standing in line at the grocery store, waiting to buy my dinner. There was a guy in front of me, buying some deli food. His food stamps card didn't have enough money; there was a balance of $1.62. He asked his buddy for money, and the guy started cursing at him. I quietly handed the cashier the $10 I was going to use to pay for my food, and told the cursing guy to be quiet, because it was taken care of.
The guy who was buying the food turned to me, and looked kind of shocked. He asked if I had paid, and I said yes. He didn't say thanks.
I knew I did the right thing, though. When I paid for my food, I had the exact change I needed. I smiled while I walked the rest of the way to work. It felt good.

The Complete Idiot's Guide to Jewish History and Culture, Part VI

2007-11-08T15:17:00.000-09:00

Still more history - imagine that!

Part 6 starts out with the French Revolution. The motto of liberté, egalité, fraternité extended to the Jewish community, marking one of the first times that Jews were accepted into the mainstream of society. This was due to the intellectualism of the time, exemplified by the works of Voltaire, Condorcet, and Rousseau. On September 28, 1791, Jews were declared to be equal to all other citizens of France, so long as they considered themselves Frenchmen first and pledged to defend France. Jews were also permitted to any job which suited their talents, which was another first.

In Germany, the Age of Enlightenment brought good times for Jews...kind of. They practiced voluntary baptism, which some Jews saw as forced conversion and spiritual death. Others saw it as a ticket to acceptance by the mainstream. Reform Judaism appeared for the first time, although in a different form to the Reform Judaism practiced in the United States today. Moses Mendelssohn (father of Felix Mendelssohn) worked to make the Jews more German and get them out of the ghettos, but without losing their religious identity. It worked to some extent, but both of his sons converted to Christianity. And the Jews invented communism. It was an attempt to make a secular society based on Jewish values, but it failed miserably. Still, Jewish genius flourished in Germany.

In England, Jews had a difficult time overcoming stereotypes. Shakespeare's Shylock is a reflection of a common example of that. The Rothschilds were a family of political leaders at the time who helped to create social reforms to allow acceptance of office. Benjamin Disraeli did a lot to dispel the stereotypes of Jewish people, but he converted to Christianity in order to do so.

As for the United States, one of the first settlers was a Marrano Jew. He went along for the ride with Christopher Columbus, who believed that he would encounter the Lost Tribes of Israel when he got where he was going and wanted to have a Hebrew interpreter. Since the Jews had recently been expelled from Spain, the interpreter stayed behind in America. Since the USA was being founded based on religious freedom, Jews found tolerance and acceptance in the new country.

These days, one can find Jewish people in almost every corner of the world.

Ideal Student

2007-11-08T12:04:00.000-09:00

I found this in The Book of Jewish Practice, whose author says that it's from Ethics of the Fathers. It's a list of the 48 qualities which make an ideal student:

mouthing the words of the text
pronouncing these distinctly
understanding the text and using discernment
studying in a spirit of awe, reverence, humility and good cheer
ministering to the wise
having good fellow students
arguing with students
serenity of mind
having a knowledge of Scripture and Mishnah
engaging in moderation in business, in worldly matters, in pleasures, in sleep, in conversation, in laughter
having patience
being good-natured
having confidence in the wise
tolerating one's suffering
recognizing one's place
rejoicing in one's lot
caution in speech
claiming no credit for achievement
being a lovable person
loving God and all His creatures
loving righteousness
straight dealing and rebuke
keeping aloof from fame
having no pride in one's learning
having no personal pleasure in rendering decisions
bearing the yoke with one's companions and judging them favorably and helping them in their pursuit of truth and peace
being composed in study
asking questions and attempting to provide solutions
listening and then adding to the information imparted
studying in order to teach and to practice
making one's teacher wise
attending carefully to what he says
repeating a teaching in the name of its author, giving the author the credit that is due

I think that a lot of these are very valuable, and most are qualities that I hope to possess.

Blog Link: Faithbook

2007-11-07T14:38:00.000-09:00

Today I was reading Faithbook, which is a blog on religion written by college students. They represent different denominations and faiths, and it's usually pretty interesting.

One of their contributers is Shari Rabin, who is Jewish.

She wrote a really good post on Shabbat.

I agree with her position. I, personally, have tried to observe Shabbat recently, but it's almost impossible given my lifestyle and schedule. I usually have to work on Friday nights, which is a no-no. But since sundown these days is early (the official candle-lighting time for this weekend is 4:20 pm), I give myself a pass. When I come home from work, I light my candles. This is usually at almost 11:00 pm, but I think it counts. On Saturdays, I have to drive. Even in my car, it takes me 20 minutes to get across town to the nearest temple. Walking would be unnecessarily onerous. I try to avoid working on Saturday, but I'm doing well to get my boss to schedule me for the closing shifts which allow me the ability to attend Shabbat morning services and Conversion classes.

I think that the more important thing is to recognize that Shabbat is a gift, and let that be a day that can't stress you out. I do spend a lot more time in prayer on that day, and I make time for independent Torah study.

This weekend, I'll have Saturday off, and I plan to spend it with a friend, having a pleasant dinner and playing games. It will be great.